Jessica pimps out her baby

social_misfit · 07-11-2008, 03:36 PM

Jessica Alba pimps out her baby
July 11

Realizing she has the acting skills of a ham sandwich, Jessica Alba has turned her vagina into an ATM by signing a $1.5 million photo deal with OK! Magazine, according to TMZ:
We're hearing the two-part deal consists of pictures of the baby now, and one other "event" -- Christmas, Thanksgiving, vacation, etc. Our spy said Jessica initially turned down the offers of several weekly mags, not wanting to sell, but eventually caved.
Dear struggling actresses, models and reality TV stars, If anyone of you are looking to cash in on the instant publicity and lucrative photo deals that come with birthing a child, I have a penis. Just saying. Sincerely, The Superficial Writer P.S. Please be hot and/or drive a beer truck made entirely of chicken wings.

Source

Samson The Cat · 07-11-2008, 08:36 PM

What a dic! "acting skills of a ham sandwich" - an impressive comparison - the superficial writer must be proud of himself for coming up with that.

If only it made some sense...

"We're hearing the two-part deal consists of pictures of the baby now, and one other 'event' -- Christmas, Thanksgiving, vacation, etc. Our spy said Jessica initially turned down the offers of several weekly mags, not wanting to sell, but eventually caved." If they pay, why not? And don't tell it's exploiting the child. If she hadn't agreed the mags would have paid that to that to the most intrusive paparazzi.

dzero · 07-12-2008, 02:39 PM

Gotta say I was dissapointed when I heard this news.

**RebelMan** · 07-12-2008, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dzero

Gotta say I was dissapointed when I heard this news.

I'm not surprised one bit. Cause Jamie-Lynn Spears said & did the same thing with her kid with the same magazine.

Also explains why we haven't seen what her & the ape's kid looks like.

blessed be my angel sarah · 07-16-2008, 08:50 AM

Motherhood "hasn't totally sunk in" for actress Jessica Alba, who gave birth to daughter Honor Marie Warren almost six weeks ago. Honor "dreams, she smiles ... coos and does all these things ... There's no other way to explain it. It's a miracle." Introducing her and husband Cash Warren's little girl in OK! this week, Jessica, 27, opens up about her hypnobirth-driven delivery experience, calling it "very Zen."

I didn't scream. The labor was more like meditation -- I did yoga breathing. I was focused.

For his part, Cash is in awe of his wife, who "didn't make a sound. It was amazing." The couple agree that Honor is a mixture of both parents, but leaning heavily towards the daddy-side at the moment -- which is no problem for Cash. He jokes, "I want her to look like me, because a daughter looking like Jessica, I'd kill myself!"

He explains, "Right now, she looks like a girl version of me. She has my nose, my eyebrows." "[And his] forehead and dimples," Jessica interjects, adding, "She has my mouth when I was a baby. And my ears."

Click 'Continue Reading' for more from the article, and a larger cover image!

Having enjoyed a lot of "soul food" in recent weeks, Jessica said she began post-baby workouts on July 10th -- but only for 20 minutes at a time, and just doing cardio on her own.

I'm doing it slow. Now I'm starting to eat more healthy. Because after working out, having fried chicken and mashed potatoes is a little counteractive!

rh71 · 07-16-2008, 01:46 PM

My wife didn't scream either delivering our twins this past Saturday... she was too busy holding her breath for 10 seconds at a time while pushing along with the contractions. It's not as easy to push if you blow air out screaming... says the doc too.

BTW, I just pimped out my wife's delivery. I'm such a bad person. Until you people have offers of millions given for a picture, you don't know how easy/hard it was to make that decision. I honestly don't think Ms. Alba needs another 1.5mil, personally. Was it really money-driven?

lock67ca · 07-16-2008, 02:19 PM

I don't think money was the big concern. If it was, she probably would have held out for a much bigger offer. She probably did it so the paparazzi couldn't get the first photos.

dzero · 07-17-2008, 01:42 AM

Cover of the Spanish language edition of OK.

Congrats on the twins rh71

Nightcrawler · 07-17-2008, 06:51 AM

I don't blame her for selling the pictures. She gets publicity plus money. If she hadn't done it, magazines would have gotten pictures of the baby anyway.

07-11-2008, 03:36 PM	#1 (permalink)
social_misfit Swedish chef Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 706 My Profile	Jessica pimps out her baby Jessica Alba pimps out her baby July 11 Realizing she has the acting skills of a ham sandwich, Jessica Alba has turned her vagina into an ATM by signing a $1.5 million photo deal with OK! Magazine, according to TMZ: We're hearing the two-part deal consists of pictures of the baby now, and one other "event" -- Christmas, Thanksgiving, vacation, etc. Our spy said Jessica initially turned down the offers of several weekly mags, not wanting to sell, but eventually caved. Dear struggling actresses, models and reality TV stars, If anyone of you are looking to cash in on the instant publicity and lucrative photo deals that come with birthing a child, I have a penis. Just saying. Sincerely, The Superficial Writer P.S. Please be hot and/or drive a beer truck made entirely of chicken wings. Source Last edited by social_misfit; 07-14-2008 at 05:23 AM..

07-16-2008, 08:50 AM	#5 (permalink)
blessed be my angel sarah Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: dorset, UK Posts: 3,481 My Profile	Jessica introduces Daughter Honor Marie Motherhood "hasn't totally sunk in" for actress Jessica Alba, who gave birth to daughter Honor Marie Warren almost six weeks ago. Honor "dreams, she smiles ... coos and does all these things ... There's no other way to explain it. It's a miracle." Introducing her and husband Cash Warren's little girl in OK! this week, Jessica, 27, opens up about her hypnobirth-driven delivery experience, calling it "very Zen." I didn't scream. The labor was more like meditation -- I did yoga breathing. I was focused. For his part, Cash is in awe of his wife, who "didn't make a sound. It was amazing." The couple agree that Honor is a mixture of both parents, but leaning heavily towards the daddy-side at the moment -- which is no problem for Cash. He jokes, "I want her to look like me, because a daughter looking like Jessica, I'd kill myself!" He explains, "Right now, she looks like a girl version of me. She has my nose, my eyebrows." "[And his] forehead and dimples," Jessica interjects, adding, "She has my mouth when I was a baby. And my ears." Click 'Continue Reading' for more from the article, and a larger cover image! Having enjoyed a lot of "soul food" in recent weeks, Jessica said she began post-baby workouts on July 10th -- but only for 20 minutes at a time, and just doing cardio on her own. I'm doing it slow. Now I'm starting to eat more healthy. Because after working out, having fried chicken and mashed potatoes is a little counteractive! Last edited by RebelMan; 07-16-2008 at 11:02 AM..

07-11-2008, 08:36 PM	#2 (permalink)
Samson The Cat Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Thuringia Posts: 2,428 My Profile	What a dic! "acting skills of a ham sandwich" - an impressive comparison - the superficial writer must be proud of himself for coming up with that. If only it made some sense... "We're hearing the two-part deal consists of pictures of the baby now, and one other 'event' -- Christmas, Thanksgiving, vacation, etc. Our spy said Jessica initially turned down the offers of several weekly mags, not wanting to sell, but eventually caved." If they pay, why not? And don't tell it's exploiting the child. If she hadn't agreed the mags would have paid that to that to the most intrusive paparazzi.

07-12-2008, 02:39 PM	#3 (permalink)
dzero Newbie Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 29 My Profile	Gotta say I was dissapointed when I heard this news.

07-16-2008, 01:46 PM	#6 (permalink)
rh71 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 1,685 My Profile	My wife didn't scream either delivering our twins this past Saturday... she was too busy holding her breath for 10 seconds at a time while pushing along with the contractions. It's not as easy to push if you blow air out screaming... says the doc too. BTW, I just pimped out my wife's delivery. I'm such a bad person. Until you people have offers of millions given for a picture, you don't know how easy/hard it was to make that decision. I honestly don't think Ms. Alba needs another 1.5mil, personally. Was it really money-driven?

07-16-2008, 02:19 PM	#7 (permalink)
lock67ca Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Toronto Posts: 142 My Profile	I don't think money was the big concern. If it was, she probably would have held out for a much bigger offer. She probably did it so the paparazzi couldn't get the first photos.

07-17-2008, 01:42 AM	#8 (permalink)
dzero Newbie Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 29 My Profile	Cover of the Spanish language edition of OK. Congrats on the twins rh71

07-17-2008, 06:51 AM	#9 (permalink)
Nightcrawler Newbie Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 8 My Profile	I don't blame her for selling the pictures. She gets publicity plus money. If she hadn't done it, magazines would have gotten pictures of the baby anyway.

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