Confessions Review

herbertlens · 03-07-2005, 10:43 PM

The following review appeared in Salon.com.

WARNING: the review contains plot points and spoilers and is very irreverent and is not recommended reading for those who take their love of Love too seriously.

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...

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Party of two

Needless to say, Jennifer Love's Hewitts are on full display in her upcoming made-for-TV romp, "Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber" (Saturday, March 12, at 8 p.m. on Oxygen). In fact, Jennifer is wearing a bra through about 90 percent of the film, and while it's a nice ploy to keep us distracted from just how bad a movie this is, ultimately it fails.

"Must quit smoking -- again," J.Lo Ho breathes in a voice-over, and somewhere, Bridget Jones is rolling over in her four-poster bed, haunted by a nightmare in which she inspires an unseemly herd of snarky, facile, pointless boy-meets-girl stories weighed down by soggy dialogue, idiotic twists and a climax stolen straight from an '80s-era teen film.

Hewitt's sociopath is threatened by an upstart at work -- guess where? -- at an ad agency! Then she falls for some stranger who works in her office. Later, he takes her on a date to a hot-dog stand -- earthy! -- and tells her he comes there "to think." I love it when screenwriters steal dialogue from Barbie-and-Ken scenes improvised by 7-year-old girls!

Ken ditches Hewitt because she's shallow. Then Hewitt crashes a big-deal party and has a cat fight, spitting at her enemy, "Let's face it, you've always been jealous that my boobs are bigger than yours!" Groan.

Next, she admits all her faults in front of a big crowd, and it's like I'm back in 8th grade, picking lint off my Forenza V-neck sweater and hoping my dark-blue Maybelline eyeliner isn't smudged. As a stunned crowd gathers, Hewitt tells us, "I climbed all the way up the social ladder and figured out it was ... lonely." Awww! Ri rove roo, Jennifer! Instead of being so bad it's good or even so bad it's bad, "Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber" is just plain bad. And that's sad, because the title just sounded really promising.

Looking4Love · 03-08-2005, 12:34 AM

Well, I guess we'll see for ourselves how it all goes.

Thanks for sharing [img]smile.gif[/img] !

Deja · 03-08-2005, 01:26 AM

That's not sounding very promising..

i love love · 03-08-2005, 05:23 AM

The trailers look dangerously silly too, there's no way you're supposed to take this movie seriously. Love's old boyfriend Joey Lawrence looks pretty odd with no hair as well, he sort of reminds me of the old Mr. Clean from the commercials of a by-gone era.

Joey (oops excuse me he's now credited as Joseph) BEFORE:

Joseph AFTER:

He's joked about how he's been going bald just like his father, so you can't really blame him for shaving off the rest of it.

[ March 08, 2005, 07:14 AM: Message edited by: i love love ]

**Trotter** · 03-08-2005, 08:17 AM

[img]smile.gif[/img]
Thank-you for taking the time to share this with us..... [img]smile.gif[/img]

I guess everyone is entitled to their views.. :eek:

LOVE YOUNG GIFTED & GORGEOUS

**superboy** · 03-08-2005, 10:07 AM

JenniferNoble · 03-08-2005, 11:02 AM

if they wanted to call a jennifer a ho, i have better options than Love [img]graemlins/yuk.gif[/img]

03-08-2005, 01:52 PM

Quote:

In fact, Jennifer is wearing a bra through about 90 percent of the film

not that there's anything wrong with that....

TWO BIG THUMBS UP!!! [img]graemlins/thumbs.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/yummy.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/thumbs.gif[/img]

03-10-2005, 12:57 PM

LOL yea sounds like a good movie to me. JLove is truly talented though and i am looking forward to saturday although maybe now i need to worry about watching with my girlfriend like i anticipated ;)
...mr. clean hahahaha- woah.

03-08-2005, 10:07 AM	#6 (permalink)
superboy Sports/Starlets Mod Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Philly Posts: 11,697	lol

03-07-2005, 10:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
herbertlens Goat Whisperer Join Date: May 2004 Location: California Posts: 1,264 My Profile	The following review appeared in Salon.com. WARNING: the review contains plot points and spoilers and is very irreverent and is not recommended reading for those who take their love of Love too seriously. ... ... ... Party of two Needless to say, Jennifer Love's Hewitts are on full display in her upcoming made-for-TV romp, "Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber" (Saturday, March 12, at 8 p.m. on Oxygen). In fact, Jennifer is wearing a bra through about 90 percent of the film, and while it's a nice ploy to keep us distracted from just how bad a movie this is, ultimately it fails. "Must quit smoking -- again," J.Lo Ho breathes in a voice-over, and somewhere, Bridget Jones is rolling over in her four-poster bed, haunted by a nightmare in which she inspires an unseemly herd of snarky, facile, pointless boy-meets-girl stories weighed down by soggy dialogue, idiotic twists and a climax stolen straight from an '80s-era teen film. Hewitt's sociopath is threatened by an upstart at work -- guess where? -- at an ad agency! Then she falls for some stranger who works in her office. Later, he takes her on a date to a hot-dog stand -- earthy! -- and tells her he comes there "to think." I love it when screenwriters steal dialogue from Barbie-and-Ken scenes improvised by 7-year-old girls! Ken ditches Hewitt because she's shallow. Then Hewitt crashes a big-deal party and has a cat fight, spitting at her enemy, "Let's face it, you've always been jealous that my boobs are bigger than yours!" Groan. Next, she admits all her faults in front of a big crowd, and it's like I'm back in 8th grade, picking lint off my Forenza V-neck sweater and hoping my dark-blue Maybelline eyeliner isn't smudged. As a stunned crowd gathers, Hewitt tells us, "I climbed all the way up the social ladder and figured out it was ... lonely." Awww! Ri rove roo, Jennifer! Instead of being so bad it's good or even so bad it's bad, "Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber" is just plain bad. And that's sad, because the title just sounded really promising.

03-08-2005, 12:34 AM	#2 (permalink)
Looking4Love Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Indianapolis, IN, U.S.A. Posts: 7,718 My Profile	Well, I guess we'll see for ourselves how it all goes. Thanks for sharing [img]smile.gif[/img] !

03-08-2005, 01:26 AM	#3 (permalink)
Deja Junior Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: Texas Posts: 285 My Profile	That's not sounding very promising..

03-08-2005, 05:23 AM	#4 (permalink)
i love love . Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: a black hole in a back pocket universe Posts: 4,842 My Profile	The trailers look dangerously silly too, there's no way you're supposed to take this movie seriously. Love's old boyfriend Joey Lawrence looks pretty odd with no hair as well, he sort of reminds me of the old Mr. Clean from the commercials of a by-gone era. Joey (oops excuse me he's now credited as Joseph) BEFORE: Joseph AFTER: He's joked about how he's been going bald just like his father, so you can't really blame him for shaving off the rest of it. [ March 08, 2005, 07:14 AM: Message edited by: i love love ]

03-08-2005, 08:17 AM	#5 (permalink)
Trotter JLH Nut Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Sydenham,London Posts: 30,156 My Profile	[img]smile.gif[/img] Thank-you for taking the time to share this with us..... [img]smile.gif[/img] I guess everyone is entitled to their views.. :eek: LOVE YOUNG GIFTED & GORGEOUS

03-08-2005, 11:02 AM	#7 (permalink)
JenniferNoble Lovely Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: the Netherlands Posts: 4,652 My Profile	if they wanted to call a jennifer a ho, i have better options than Love [img]graemlins/yuk.gif[/img]

03-10-2005, 12:57 PM	#9 (permalink)
neutralmilk Guest Posts: n/a	LOL yea sounds like a good movie to me. JLove is truly talented though and i am looking forward to saturday although maybe now i need to worry about watching with my girlfriend like i anticipated ;) ...mr. clean hahahaha- woah.

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