Inappropriate Things to Wear/Take or Do at Funerals

[Captain Beefheart]

The inner dilemma is not so much what to wear(you'd look good in anything, really), as it is who will actually show up for the funeral that you don't know. Obviously since it's someone that was intimately close to you that shouldn't be a problem.

I remember a couple of years ago, one of my grandma's sister died. She was sort of the bond of the family, the one sister everyone: daughters, nieces, uncles loved. So naturally everyone in the family from every corner of the world showed up.

I didn't know half of the people and I was sure half of them didn't know me either. When I arrived I payed my respects to the ones I was close with, and then when to the cafeteria to get sum lunch and wait for my sister and mother to resume their mourning. In comes this gorgeous lady, short hair, nice legs. After orderning she sits in my table and starts making small conversation. Knowing the nature of the Beef I started flirting with her unconciously. She played along with it just fine.

10 minutes later she looks at me stonecold and tells me "You do know i'm your niece right".

[Plastic Flute]

When I for some reason (The Youngest) of 3 I planned my Pop's wake an stuff. I remember sitting in front of the funeral director an looking at the ,it had to be a 1 carat diamond Tie tac. He yacked about the the embalming part of the man I loved most in my life: I looked at him ..His Saltwater Big Boat outside the window. His groomed nails , and his tuff premature salt an pepper beard, He was hot.
I wondered if he ever screwed anyone in their grief?
When everthing was over. My friends an sister said ..Man the Mortician was Goodlookin. I signed stuff he gave me.
I still feel guilty , I thought about him that way

[Blackmask]

I left my dad's wake early because I had a game of basketball to play. He was a P.E. teacher, he'd have fully understood the priority system I had in place.

[Plastic Flute]

So Missy . It seems your mind can focus on anything it has too as long its not the subject at hand.
So My New Jersey hand is extended to you to hold.

[Plastic Flute]

Originally Posted by Blackmask

I left my dad's wake early because I had a game of basketball to play. He was a P.E. teacher, he'd have fully understood the priority system I had in place.

How did that make your MOM feel ?

[SilverSpoon]

Cosplay as me.

[Blackmask]

Originally Posted by Plastic Flute

How did that make your MOM feel ?

Parents were divorced.

[MissyO]

Originally Posted by Plastic Flute

When I for some reason (The Youngest) of 3 I planned my Pop's wake an stuff. I remember sitting in front of the funeral director an looking at the ,it had to be a 1 carat diamond Tie tac. He yacked about the the embalming part of the man I loved most in my life: I looked at him ..His Saltwater Big Boat outside the window. His groomed nails , and his tuff premature salt an pepper beard, He was hot.
I wondered if he ever screwed anyone in their grief?
When everthing was over. My friends an sister said ..Man the Mortician was Goodlookin. I signed stuff he gave me.
I still feel guilty , I thought about him that way

I now have a story for you that releases you from your guilt:

If you think just thinking about a good looking man is bad, I just heard about a man who's three kids came in to plan his funeral, and two of them proceeded to laugh at pretty much everything that was said when making funeral preparations. Their excuse was that their father had a sense of humour. Apparently the funeral planner and other child were horrified, yet they still had no idea they were being inhuman.

[Ophelia]

Fake tourettes and go around shouting curse words at people, when you think they are getting mad, start drooling...thats always a deterrent.

[MissyO]

That would certainly get people's interest..........