TNA Pro Wrestling

[superboy]

I will start to post TNA Impact spoilers and other TNA news here every week. I hope you will enjoy this.......

I have been watching this program for a couple weeks, its not horrible all the time just sometimes, Karen Angle is hot! Anyway here you go.........
DONT SCROLL DOWN IF YOU DONT WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!
03/13/08

Impact opened with Jim Cornette in the center of the ring announcing the double main event for Lockdown, TNA champion Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe and the Lethal Lockdown match with Christian Cage and Tomko captaining teams. Cage came out and began ripping on Tomko. Tomko and Cage brawled with AJ Styles helping Tomko. Kevin Nash came out to even the odds.

* Curry Man defeated Petey Williams. After the match, Scott Steiner put a bag over Williams' head, tied his arms behind his back and took him backstage.

* Samoa Joe, wearing a suit, came to the ring to cut a promo about challenging Kurt Angle for the TNA title at Lockdown.

* Black Reign and Rellik defeated The Motor City Machineguns. Super Eric cleared the ring after the match.

* TNA champ Kurt Angle defeated Kaz. He cuts a promo about the Samoa Joe Lockdown PPV match until Karen Angle comes out and announces she wants a separation. Kurt said he was happy because they means he can concentrate on beating Joe and Karen left teary eyed.

* The Rock and Rave Infection & Christy Hemme defeated Salinas & LAX when Hemme pinned Salinas.

* Gail Kim defeated Velvet Sky. Angelina Love attacked Kim after the match. She fought off Sky but was attacked by Awesome Kong. ODB finally made the save.

* Kevin Nash and Christian Cage defeated TNA Tag Team champs AJ Styles and Tomko via DQ when Team 3D hit the ring and attacked them. The heels all attacked Nash, focusing on his ankle. The heels all posed in celebration. Team 3D then attacked Truck from Survivor, who was in the front row.

[Mat]

Told ya TNA is decent. I voted for Angelina Love

[superboy]

Yeah its not bad, I dont know whcih is which between Angelina and Velvet ( horrible porn names by the way...lol)

[Mat]

Yeah that isnt their real names.

Angelina Love is the one that looks like Ashley from WWE a bit. The really blond haired chick

[edawg99]

I voted for Velvet Skye. She's got it going on.

[superboy]

mmmmm Angelina Love...I smell a Angelina starlet thread...very soon..lol

[superboy]

TNA Impact recap.................
Robert Roode and Booker T were shown brawling through the crowd immediately following the Impact video opener. Payton Banks and Traci Brooks also became involved in the melee, prompting Jim Cornette to sign a Booker-Roode match to take place later in the night with the stipulations being determined by online fan voting. Viewers selected a First Blood Match, which Booker won after slingshotting Roode into the ringpost.

The Roode-Booker clash was not the only match influenced by TNA devotees, as fans were given the opportunity to choose a challenger to Awesome Kong’s Knockout Title. ODB narrowly defeated Gail Kim in the balloting and went on to a competitive showdown with the Women’s Champion before falling victim to Kong’s Awesome Bomb.

WWE performer Dereck “Robbie McAllister” Graham-Couch was shown sitting in the audience. Mike Johnson of PWInsider.com reported last night that WWE management is apparently very unhappy with Graham-Couch’s decision to attend the event, as the company’s performers have been barred from interacting with TNA talent during WrestleMania weekend.

Kurt Angle held a sparring exhibition with Tag Team Champions and fellow Angle Alliance members AJ Styles and Tomko. After taking on his stablemates alternately in four one-minute rounds, the trio were confronted by Christian Cage, Kevin Nash, and Rhino. The babyface threesome found themselves on the receiving end of an attack from Tomko, Styles, and Team 3D before the arena suddenly went dark. When the lights returned, Sting stood in the ring and proceeded to help run off Team Tomko. This led to an eight-man tag team main event won by Team Cage when Brother Devon submitted to Sting’s Scorpion Deathlock. Post-match, James Storm arrived and nailed The Stinger in the back of the head with a beer bottle.

A great promo package aired featuring Samoa Joe in training for his World Championship bout at Lockdown. Joe also joined Mike Tenay via satellite for an interview.

I have been impressed with the company’s build toward Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe’s World Title match at Lockdown. They appear serious and committed to treating the bout as an epic event, and I really believe we could see a Match of the Year candidate on April 13th.

Match Results: Johnny Devine over Alex Shelley via pinfall in an Xscape Qualifying Match … LAX and Salinas over Scott Steiner, Petey Williams, and Rhaka Kahn via pinfall when Homicide pinned Williams … Booker T over Robert Roode in a First Blood Match … Knockout Champion Awesome Kong over ODB via pinfall … Team Cage over Team Tomko via submission when Brother Devon tapped out to Sting’s Scorpion Deathlock.

[superboy]

TNA’s Impact on April 3.....

LAX defeated The Motor City Machineguns and Black Reign & Rellik in a three-way tag team match. After the match, Super Eric came down and attacked Black Reign & Rellik.

Traci Brooks beat Payton Banks.

Christian Cage & Rhino were disqualified in a match against Team 3D. Jim Cornette called for the disqualification after Rhino Gored the referee.

Elix Skipper lost to Shark Boy in a qualifying match for LockDown’s X-Division Xscape Match.

Sting defeated James Storm. Morgan helped Sting win by throwing him his bat.

[Mo]

The April 3rd event was the first TNA i've watched it was okay...
It was great to see Christian again...

[superboy]

3-27 Impact was the best I ever saw from them, last week wasnt so good.

[superboy]

Team Tomko is in the ring. Brother Ray is cutting a promo on behalf of Team 3D, James Storm, Styles and Tomko saying they are the greatest force in history. Team Cage comes out and Christian has a mic. "Do me a favor Brother Ray, stop whining, stop complaining. You're like Hillary Clinton in a fat suit. I'm sorry, that was a bad analogy - Hillary Clinton has bigger balls than you. Let me tell you why you're really mad. Last week we made you all look like complete jackasses. Don't think after Storm laid out Sting with a beer bottle I couldn't figure out what was going on. Tomko this is exactly why I told you never to think, because I am the Instant Classic, I am the champ, and the champ is always one step ahead. That step ahead is right here next to me, Matt Morgan. At Lethal Lockdown, Team Cage leaves Team Tomko for dead. If you don't know... NOW YOU KNOW."

AJ Styles: "Don't bring it, sing it!" Cage decides to come down to the ring and sing. The rest of Team Tomko bails, leaving AJ in the ring by himself, and when Styles realizes he's all by himself he bails too.

TO THE BACK with Samoa Joe. "I'll sign that contract with my own blood. If I'm not TNA Heavyweight Champion, I'll walk away from wrestling forever." Commercial.

Why does the Lockdown logo have a four leaf clover? Luck should have nothing to do with it inside a steel cage, at least in kayfabe. Angle is backstage with Borash and says he's won 75% of their encounters, which means he only has a 25% chance of winning come Sunday. "What's the stupid look on your face? You have something on your mind? Say it!" Borash says Joe has been sending in videos of him training with the best fighters in the world, and Angle says that's impossible because he hasn't been training with him, nor could he have Angle's 30 years of experience. We throw to a promo package putting over Consequences Creed.

* TNA Lockdown Xscape Qualifying Match: Jimmy Rave v. Consequences Creed

Christy Hemme and the Rock 'n Suck Connection make their way down to the ring, where Hemme sings some awful attempt at music. Seriously - THIS is how they debut Consequences Creed in his first match back since both Ron 'The Truth' Killings and that shitty NFL player left the ring. Some debut. I thought with that promo they just aired Creed would make his debut on Impact next week, but that's typical TNA... three seconds build to something important. The afro'd Creed hits a scoop slam and leg drop for two, but Rave responds with a clothesline and a boot to the head. Rave takes over and Creed plays the face in peril. He mocks Creed with a little air guitar and it's a mistake as he hits a flying forearm and clothesline of his own. Hemme distracts the ref, Hoyt interferes, Rave hits a roll-up for two. Hoyt is knocked off the apron, Creed does punches and a split, then hits a hammerlock DDT for three. WINNER: CONSEQUENCES CREED. He's got a better physique AND moveset than D-Ray 3000, I'll say that much.

We immediately go TO THE BACK where Black Machismo is cutting a promo while So Cal Val holds his belt. Sonjay Dutt shows up and puts over Cal's red hair and blue dress, then offers to take her shopping and leaves with her. Machismo reacts by saying the whole thing is a little tiki gonzo. Don't worry, I have no ****ing idea what that means either. Commercial.

We're back in the Impact Zone and Jim Cornette is at the announce table. I know that Derek Burgan, Dr. Keith Lipinski and Metal Bob are somewhere in the crowd since they went to this taping while in Orlando for 'Mania, but sadly I'm unable to spot any of them. All three men run down the card but the only Lockdown matches I care about at the moment are Team Tomko v. Team Cage and Samoa Joe v. Kurt Angle. Cornette says he's not mad Matt Morgan made a deal with Christian Cage, he's mad Morgan didn't tell him first. Therefore he relieves Morgan of his "administrative duties" and says he's now a wrestler only. Backstage bimbo interviews him. "Jim Cornette's gonna go his way, and Matt Morgan's gonna go my way. It's hard sitting at the back of the bus when you know you can take 99... no 100% of the roster on any given night! At the end of Lethal Lockdown, everybody's gonna know why they call Matt Morgan the most genetically jacked, athletically stacked, giant going today!" We throw back to commercial. **** I forgot how often Impact went to commercial when I skipped through everything with the DVR.

Promo for Lockdown in Lowell, MA as we come back from break - apparently tickets are still on sale for this show even now. The Voice of TNA says there's a new elite club in TNA, but you have to impress Scott Steiner to join. Apparently Maple Leaf Muscle has been trying to impress Steiner to join. That's what I get for skipping the backstage vignettes. Steiner says Williams is a negative because he's a Canadian and Canadian sucks, then puts car battery leads on his chest to shock him. Seems I saw a skit like this with Shane McMahon and Kane almost five years ago.

* Scott Steiner & Petey Williams v. Motor City Machine Guns

Tenay explains there's a six team tag match inside the cage on Sunday with 11 pairs of handcuffs, and the one person who doesn't get handcuffed to the cage wins. Sounds like the kind of stupidity only Vince Russo could come up with. The match starts with Petey Williams and Chris Sabin. Shelley comes in to double team. Steiner tries to make a save and gets handed his rear. Shelley hits a fireman's carry slam and Sabin nails him right after he hits the ground. Steiner clubs Sabin from behind and it enables Williams to hit a spinkick and go on offense. Rocka Khan comes down to ringside with a bag in her hand as we go to commercial.

Steiner is dropping elbows on Sabin as we come back before tagging in Williams. Sabin counters with a knee and a bulldog and rolls across the ring to tag Shelley, who hits a flying crossbody, a leg sweep and superkick. Toando DDT by Shelley, frogsplash, two count and Steiner leaps in to make the save. Sabin dropkicks then superkicks Steiner to clear him out of the ring. Sabin and Shelley double team Williams but he kicks out before three. Steiner eats another dropkick, Sabin tries to crossbody him outside, Steiner gets out of the way. Back in the ring Williams hits the Canadian Destroyer and gets the three count. WINNERS: STEINER & WILLIAMS.

Afterwards Steiner tells Williams he still has one more test to pass. Steiner pulls a pair of scissors out of Rocka Khan's bag. Reluctantly Williams says yes and Steiner cuts off his ponytail. Next comes the electric razor. Yes, in TNA, the WINNER gets his head shaved bald. Hopefully he evens this out because right now it's looking pretty bad. Well he must have some experience as a barber because he does start to trim the sides. Steiner offers him a chain mail headdress and now Williams is a miniature version of the Big Bad Booty Daddy. Don West calls him Little Petey Pump. Commercial.

Mike & Don at ringside when we come back and they're still reacting to the "initiation" of Petey Williams. They promote the Kurt Angle v. Samoa Joe match before Tenay says "Let's take a look at the history between the two." We go all the way back to Angle headbutting Samoa Joe as we get a video recap of all their previous encounters over the last two years. Nash says Joe will win because it's his destiny, it's his time. A lot of other people offer their input as well but Joe says it best: "There's only one option Kurt - you passed out in the middle of the ring, me standing over you victorious."

Angle's music is playing and he hits the top of the entrance ramp with the title belt and a mic. Now I know what Dr. Keith meant about pimpin' suits - Angle's looks like it's straight out of a Godfather movie. Angle - blah blah blah, most important match ever, blah blah blah, this contract says Joe quits wrestling if he loses. "So Samoa Joe, I would like you to come down here, look me in the eye, do what you said you were gonna do, live by your word and sign this contract. Make it real, make it DAMN real." Joe's music hits and his suit is if anything even more impressive considering how sculpted its tailored lines make him look. Crowd chants NEXT WORLD CHAMP. More Angle blah blah blah, wanting to know if he's willing to risk it all against the greatest wrestler of all time. Joe: "Kurt I came out here to reassure you and the world that when I make a promise I mean every word of it. One is that if I don't walk out the champion I will never step in the ring for this or any other company again. But Kurt you see it's promise two you have to worry about. On April 13th there will be no excuses, it will just be me standing over you, the TNA World Heavyweight Champion." Joe signs the contract. The two stare off as we go to commercial.

We're back with a promo video for Lockdown this Sunday. I'm only ordering this one if Dave and Dave (Mad Monk) come over - no way I'm paying $30 for it just to watch it by myself. Gail Kim and ODB are backstage and the interview bimbo wants to know if they're on the same page going into a match against Amazking Kong and Cheerleader Melissa. Kim: "Kong, at Lockdown, we're gonna end your domination - the two of us - inside six sides of steel." ODB: "I know I'm ugly but you must be hideous to keep hiding behind that veil. I'm gonna rip that blanket off your head so we can have us an ugly contest, because I'm not just another pretty face. OOHHHHH!"

* Angelina Love (with Velvet Sky) v. Roxxi Laveaux (with nobody)

Apparently one of the backstage segments I DVR'd my way through was Team Pr0n promising Roxxi a makeover only to put hairspray in her eyes and beat her down backstage. I guess that makes Team Pr0n the heels because they are BAD GIRLS, though I'd say they are heels because they are BAD WRESTLERS. Love pounds the head of Roxxi into the canvas then attempts to kick her head off before making the cover for two. She chops her down as "Senior Referee" Rudy Charles looks on, while Tenay promotes TNA Mobile. Roxxi makes a comeback with elbows, punches, and hits a big boot before making the cover. Velvet Sky distracts the ref, Love goes for an eyerake, but it's for not as Roxxi hits the Voodoo Drop for three. WINNER: ROXXI LAVEAUX.

Well at least the more talented wrestler won. She backs up the ramp to the seeming approval of the crowd as we go TO THE BACK with Super Eric. He vows to rid TNA of all its villains, starting tonight with Black Reign. "Fear is temporary, heroes are forever." They play some mock Superman music as we go to a commercial break.

We're back with TNA's Rough Cuts and B.G. James says Kip has to take the bigger step and be willing to talk to him. "Once we get all the physicality out of the way, maybe we can sit down and talk about this." Kip James: "Go teach or do whatever you want to do, just so I never have to see you again." B.G.: "I've dang sure done my share of fighting." Kip: "Every single moment it gets closer I get more anxious, I'm chomping at the bit. B.G.: "I don't know what strategy to employ. Emotionally I'm a wreck already but at the same time I pray to God he's fearing for his health." Kip: "After this I'm going to become world champion. SINGLE. One."

* Black Reign v. Super Eric

They're actually billing Eric Young as being from Metropolis now. Either I had missed that or fast forwarded through it before now. Black Reign drags him out of the ring before the opening bell and throws him into the steel steps, then throws him back into the ring to stomp on him. Tenay babbles about the 12 man handcuff match at Lockdown as Dustin Rhodes gives Eric Young a beatdown. Young makes a comeback, hits a scoop slam, and goes up to the top rope for a missile dropkick. He ducks a clothesline, fireman's carry, death valley driver, three count! WINNER: SUPER ERIC.

So Chris Harris couldn't beat this guy up for months, and Eric Young beats him in one match. Whatever. Rellik is Killer hits the ring immediately and they give him a two on one beating before handcuffing him to the ropes. Kaz comes out to make the save then the rest of the geeks from the 12 man match hit the ring. Super Eric breaks the handcuffs in two and hits a high back bodydrop on Lance Hoyt and a clothesline on Jimmy Rave. Super Eric pulls Kaz back up to his feet and the two pose on the ring ropes as the rest of the geeks bail to the back. Tenay throws us to a video package reviewing the blood feud between Robert Roode and Booker T. "At Lockdown I will prove to you why I'm simply the best. Now can you dig that, SUCKA." Commercial.

We return with a "TNA Wrestling: Cross the Line" promo. Tenay hypes up Queen of the Cage and we go to a video package promoting the event. It's like the Reverse Gauntlet Battle Royal, except featuring Rocka Khan, Traci Brooks, Christy Hemme, Peyton Banks, Roxxi Laveaux, Angelina Love, Velvet Sky, Selenus and Jacqueline. The TNA announcer calls it an eclectic mix of brawn, beauty and steel where only two can make it inside the cage and only one can win. We go back to Tenay and West once again promoting Lockdown, this time focusing on Team Tomko v. Team Cage and Samoa Joe v. Kurt Angle, before throwing to a preview of the double main event. This show seems to be almost all video packages, and may actually be the better for it.

TO THE BACK with Sting. "This is my family. I'm standing next to Kevin Nash for crying out loud. This is my home, my breed, the only thing I know. Where else am I gonna go! What roads have you paved Brother Ray? Tonight when we square off in the ring I'll make it clear, and you will never doubt me again." Nash: "Quite frankly, I'm here for the money. Overpaid? I'd rather be overpaid than underpaid. You know how you get paid? By being a main eventer. When we go through you guys tonight, it keeps me in that spotlight. Where does Nash go after this? I go where the money's at." Commercial.

* Team 3D v. 'Big Sexy' Kevin Nash & 'The Icon' Sting

Nash ans Sting salute each other with horns as the match begins, then Nash starts dealing out punishment to Brother Devon. Boots and knees to the gut before an elbow to the face drops Devon to the mat. Nash pulls him up, sizes him up, then he tags in Sting. Sting locks the head of Devon but Devon fights out and starts hitting right hands. Sting ducks a clothesline and knocks Devon down. Devon calls for a timeout and Brother Ray tags in. Ray gives Sting a double handed shove to the chest. BIG MISTAKE. Stings hulks up on him, wails on him, even bites him in the forehead. We go to commercial break with Sting and Nash standing strong; or at least that's what I remember because it took about four minutes for this update to upload and I didn't want to hit the replay on the DVR to make sure. I'm sure the heels will be wailing on the babyfaces when we come back anyway.

Just as I predicted, "during the break" Brother Ray slammed Sting's head into the steel steps, and 3D got into "the driver's seat" as Tenay puts it. Ray and Devon are double teaming Sting, but he ducks them and hits a double clothesline off the ropes. Nash has his hand out waiting for a tag and Sting makes it. Here comes Diesel! Right hands to both members of 3D and a big boot to Ray. Devon gets a side slam for two before Ray breaks up the count.

It's a cluster**** as all four men are in the ring. Sting puts on a Scorpion Deathlock and Nash goes for the finish too but then the bell rings as it's a huge cluster**** as EVERYBODY on both teams hits the ring and Earl Hebner keeps calling for the bell over and over again. NO CONTEST. Matt Morgan is the last man to hit the ring and he goes after Brother Ray first. Morgan cleans house, clotheslines Tomko out, Jacqueline jumps on his back and gets press slammed over the ropes. Everybody spills outside to continue the fight. Cage and Storm go over the railing and Cage gets the better of him. Tomko throws Sting into a ringpost. Cage throws Storm back over the rail then brawls with him up the ramp. Rhino gores Gores GORES AJ Styles out of his shoes and socks inside the six sides. Tenay says we'll see you Sunday at Lockdown and that's the end of the show!

[Mo]

I didn't like the nite again tho i guess i have to guess use to it..
not a fan of the Divas tho...

[superboy]

Lockdown PPV results!!!!!

Samoa Joe beat Kurt Angle clean in the middle of the ring at the Lockdown PPV earlier tonight to become the TNA World Heavyweight Champion. The question really wasn't if Joe would win the match, especially considering the stipulation that he would retire from wrestling if he lost. The big question was whether or not he would win clean since so many TNA main event matches have some kind of interference. Credit goes to TNA for finally doing it right and letting Joe win the title with no shenanigans.
Here are the rest of the results from the Lockdown PPV:
- "Blackk Machismo" Jay Lethal won the X Division Xscape Match to retain the X Division Title
- Roxxi Laveaux won the Queen of the Cage match by pinning Angeline Love
- BG James pinned Kip James with a roll up; after the match BG wanted a handshake but Kip laid him out with a clothesline
- Super Eric won the Cuffed in the Cage match after hitting a flying bodypress off the top of the cage and pinning the remaining guys in the match
- ODB and Gail Kim beat TNA Women's Champion Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed when Kong accidentally hit Saeed allowing ODB to get the pin
- Sharmell and Booker T defeated Payton Banks and Robert Roode when Sharmell rolled up Banks
- Team Cage beat Team Tomko in the Lethal Lockdown match when Rhino hit the gore on James Storm for the pinfall. There were some crazy stunts on the top of the cage as well.

[Mo]

heheh,
been reading that everyon is happy that Samoa Joe is champ.

[superboy]

As you might expect the show opens with TNA Lockdown PPV highlights including Joe winning the TNA World Heavyweight Title. Fireworks go off in the Impact Zone as Mike Tenay promises us three championship matches tonight, but first Joe's gonna make his way down to the ring with a little something to say. He's got a nice suit on and the belt over his right shoulder as a fan holds up a sign reading "The Era of Joe Begins Tonight." That has a better ring than "The Era of Orton." Joe: "Tonight TNA fans around the world, WE are the champions. A few nights ago I sacrificed everything in my life for one shot at the championship. I put on the line everything I hold dear against Kurt Angle. Kurt no matter what I think of you as a person, as a warrior you're one of the baddest I've ever been in the ring with. You see Kurt the difference between us is, when you wrapped that grip around my ankle, and the tendons popped and sinews snapped I started losing my will to even have a career, but when I looked up in the eyes of the TNA fans and felt the fans around the world, I knew there was no surrender and no quit and I would be the new TNA World Champion. You see Kurt that's why I'm here tonight. My first championship run is decidated to you, the fans. To all of you at home this comes with a promise that this belt will be defended with respect, honor, the sweat of my brow and the blood of my fist. So here we stand tonight in the Impact Zone where it all began, in Orlando where they say dreams come true, and to borrow an adversary's phrase IT'S REAL, IT'S DAMN REAL."

Big Poppa Pump, Lil' Petey Pump and Rhaka Khan make their way to the ring. "I hate to break up your lovefest with your redneck fans out here, but I'm here to talk about sacrifice, what sacrifice really means! Petey Pump you sacrified your dignity, pride and honor to gain my respect, and that's meant a lot ot me. So in turn I'm going to give you the X Division title shot, which is now yours and which you can use at any time." Williams holds up the briefcase. "As for my world title shot at Sacrifice, when I look at you and I look at me I see that sacrifice has a totally different meaning. That's why I was an All American at Michigan and that's why I stand before you looking as great as I do. I'm a genetic freak! Looking at you and your fatass was the only thing you sacrificed was eating 5 twinkies instead of 4, and sacrificed eating a cheeseburger for one with extra mustard and ketchup. You're the first person I can say this to - bigger is NOT better. Samoa Joe, you are genetic JUNK! I've been a champion in WCW, WWF, Japan, the only place I haven't been a world champion is right here in TNA. That all changes at Sacrifice. At Sacrifice you're gonna be MY sacrificial lamb."

Angle's music interrupts this little lovefest between Joe and Steiner. He's got a sharp suit and shades on. "Joe first of all, no excuses, man to man, you beat me at Lockdown. Now being the champion that I am, I always learn from my mistakes. Whenever I have a match even if it's a classic like we have, win or lose, I always learn from it." Angle takes the shades off. "I never make the same mistake twice. Now as far as you Mr. Steiner you have a title shot and you have earned it, even though your last big win was against the Road Warriors in 1975 with your idiot brother. The point I'm making, if you'll allow me to whip this out, you have a title shot at Sacrifice, but that doesn't necessarily mean you're wrestling Samoa Joe. You see Joe I guess you didn't read my contract, there's a title rematch clause, which means I can have my rematch for the title any time I choose. So with that, I have decided to have my match right here on Impact next week! Angle v. Joe for the TNA World Championship, live and FREE on SpikeTV. Oh that's real, that's DAMN real."

To the back with LAUREN. Ugh. She's with Cage and Rhino. "They say that anything can happen in wrestling, me and Rhino are proof it's true. Everybody knows about our friendship, we had a blow up, and now we're back together as friends. As singles or tag champions, who knows what the future holds." Rhino: "We've been through hell together." Brother Ray: "You're in hell right now!" Devon: "Whether you screw him tonight or tomorrow it's only a matter of time." Ray: "Rhino what happened to you. What happened to the animal we knew in ECW, the guy who used to hang and bang in South Philly. You're a shell of what you used to be, a big puss. Go ahead, throw a punch, but not now." All of the heels from their team on Sunday come out plus Kip James thrown in for good measure. Ray shoves Rhino and the brawl starts with the good guys getting beat down. Commercial.

Promo for Sacrifice on May 11th as we come back from break. Borash is backstagewith Black Machismo. "Women, you can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em. Lady luck is always on my side, talkin 'bout a redhead who's the best knockout in TNA!" Val comes out of the women's room trailed by Sonjay Dutt. He and Borash have a conversation in a whisper when Val drags him to the ring, and even with my TV cranked to the max I can't hear a word they say. Hermie Sadler is at the announce table for our next match as we come back to the ring.

* Black Machismo {C} v. Johnny Devine (X Division Title)

Devine comes out first then Val accompanies Machismo down to the ring holding his hand, with the belt around his waist. Val even holds the ropes open for him so he can climb through then gives him a kiss on the cheek. Machismo starts to pose with the belt and Devine hot starts the match with a cheapshot to the back of his head. My Cthulhu I had forgotten how awful Hermie Sadler is. He should go back to NASCAR or wherever it is he came from. Devine and Machismo spill out to the floor and Machismo gets whipped into the steel barricade. Devine throws him back in, pulls him up and applies an ab stretch. Double sledge to his back as he's stretched out on the ropes then Devine covers him for two. Devine hits a beauty of a top rope moonsault across the ring for a near fall as Val holds her mouth open in shock that her man almost lost. Lethal finally starts a comeback with punches, clotheslines, an enzuguiri and a top rope neck snap setting up a springboard dropkick. Lethal Combo! To the top rope... elbow connects! 1-2-3 for the pin. WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: BLACK MACHISMO. Little Petey Pump runs out from the back and clonks Lethal with his title shot briefcase right before we go to commercial.

During commercial Williams gave him a tornado DDT onto the briefcase then opened it up and started slamming his head inside it. "Are you listening, pay attention to me!! This says I can bring the title home to Canada and the match, starts, NOW!" The ref reluctantly rings the bell, Petey pulls his limp body up, hits him with a Canadian Destroyer and covers him for three. WINNER AND NEW X DIVISION CHAMPION: MAPLE LEAF MUSCLE PETEY WILLIAMS. Well if you wanted to get some heat on Williams as a heel, I couldn't think of a better way. Rhaka Khan smiles at her charge as they leave. Dutt runs out to make the save way too late. Homicide is backstage with Lauren. "TNA, lucky for you, I talked the big man down, esta noche is our night. If we don't get our way, 5150 is coming, just like the old school way! We don't talk no more, we just take it! Oye gringos, you ain't got the marbles to mess with LAX! Salinas even gets up in Lauren's face and says what'chu gonna do about it BARBIE. Yeahhhh!

* Matt Morgan Promo


At first I thought this was a match but Morgan cuts a promo at a hundred miles a minute. Here's what I can get typing as fast as I can - Cornette is a father figure to him, he's sick of all the whiners, wearing a suit and tie when he's sculpted is a sacrifice, and he wants to be the blueprint of what a giant looks, wrestles and talks like. "The most genetically jacked, athletically stacked, giant... going... today!" Tell him to slow down a little and then maybe he can be the definition of what a giant let alone a NORMAL sized man talks like. Commercial.

We're back with a promo for TNA - The Best of 2007 DVD as the show resumes. I assumed when we posted the review that it was ALREADY out but they say it will be available next Tuesday. Ugh, Lauren again. At least she's interviewing Joe. "Lauren it comes with the territory. Do you really think after everything I've done and sacrificed I'll let you take this belt from me; gentlemen you are sadly mistaken. You see Kurt this is a symbol of excellency and you need to understand one thing - I'm the standard bearer. The fans pay to see someone defend this with skill, not politics. If you want to really know who the undisputed champion is, I invite you to come next week, and I will make it APPARENT." Time for another match!

* Tomko & Styles {C} v. LAX (with Salinas) v. Eric Young & Kaz (TNA Tag Titles)


LAX come out first and for unknown reasons their entrance keeps cutting out to a blank screen with the SpikeTV logo, then to pictures of a galloping horse. Young and Kaz come out next and this is never explained or mentioned, so I assume it's a genuine technical goof by the network. The champs arrive last under a shower of sparkling pyro, wearing the belts around their wastes, with "The Prince of Phenomenal" putting on his crown before coming down. AJ goes after Young right from the opening bell. Tenay asks us to text TNA to a certain # but I've got news for him, I just texted STOP to that number because they billed me for six months of that stupid service in one shot. Idiotic updates like "Karen is going to be at Lockdown" weren't worth $10 a month plus messaging charges, plus I only signed up because the first week was free anyway. Young bails on the match as we go to commercial which means he'll be coming out as Super Eric when we come back.

I'm starting to remember why I gave up recapping Impact. It's not even that tonight's show has been that bad (I can even see a good reason for Williams getting the belt in storyline, whether I'm a fan of how it was done or not) but recapping shows three straight nights is quite a chore especially when I'm already running three websites every day plus trying to find time to write reviews for a major retailer. Kaz hits the Flux Capacitor on AJ and sure enough here comes Super Eric complete with hsi Metropolis theme music. Styles looks at him with disgust, charges over to attack him, but Eric blocks the Styles Clash and back bridges a pin for three. A title change just like that? Two in one ****ing show, let alone the first hour? Styles and Tomko's long reign ended on free television in a three-way, losing to a gimmick character? WINNERS AND NEW TNA TAG CHAMPIONS: SUPER ERIC & FRANKIE KAZARIAN. In a sense I'm happy for Kaz, but I'm a little burnt out right now by two title changes in one night. In fact after seeing both the WWE Women's Title and the WWE Tag Titles change hands earlier this week I'm burnt out on title changes on free TV in general. OVERKILL PEOPLE, ****ING OVERKILL. Thank Cthulhu for the commercial break - I need a drink.

Borash, Tomko and Styles are in Cornette's office. Styles is trying to argue that there was outside interference in the match, because just last week Super Eric claimed he had no idea who Eric Young is. Cornette listens to the jabber and says okay fine, I'll ask him if he's two people, and if not I'll give you your belts back. ONLY VINCE RUSSO PEOPLE, ONLY VINCE RUSSO. Good thing I got that drink.

* Team 3D v. Rhino & Christian Cage

Brother Ray started going bald in a hurry, and that bandana he's wearing around his fat head isn't helping - it's just making things that much more obvious. Cage and Rhino on the other hand look healthy hairwise but are limping (particularly Cage) to sell their backstage beating from earlier. Devon and Cage start the match even though I never heard the bell ring. Cage counters Devon into an inverted DDT for two but that doesn't last long as 3D cut off the ring and lay a beating on him. When Ray tags back in Cage hits a corkscrew elbow for two and tags in Rhino. Belly to belly suplex by Rhino for two. Double clothesline on both of 3D, they are cleared out to the floor, and Cage dives on them on the outside for good measure. The faces are left standing tall in the ring as we go to commercial with a sneak peek at "Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay."

"Cross the Line" promo then we're back to see Devon punching down Christian and covering him from two. 3D slammed Christian's head into the steel steps during the break. Long delayed vertical suplex by Devon for a near fall. Eye rake then a tag to Ray. High back bodydrop on Cage and then Ray knocks Rhino off the apron for good measure. War Machine wants to come in but all he's doing is distracting Earl Hebner. Cage is put into the tree of woe and Devon walks up in the corner and stands on his groin. Hebner insists he be pulled down and reluctantly they do, then Hebner yells at Ray to get out. He also yells at Devon for using closed fists and in response Devon tags Ray back in. Cage finally gets a top rope headscissor on Ray and covers for two then tags Rhino back in. Rhino launches into a flurry of offense on the freshly tagged Devon, hitting a belly to belly for two. Devon tags back to Ray, Christian tags in, Ray hits a low blow to block an Unprettier when the ref is distracted, this is all a millon miles a second, and I have to rewind to catch it all, Rhino goes for a gore on Ray but hits Cage instead, Ray tries to pick Rhino up and finish him off, Rhino slides off the shoulders, Rhino ducks a clothesline from Devon who hits Ray instead, Rhino rolls up Devon and gets the pin - Jesus **** that was WAY TOO MANY MOVES IN UNDER 30 SECONDS. I had to hit replay like four times. No wonder Poulin misses his DVR remote. WINNERS: CAGE & RHINO.

Ray and Devon argue over whose fault it was, then start slugging each other in the ring as security comes in to break it up. Cornette meets with Eric Young backstage. Young: "It's totally your call Jim, I'm backing you, the outside interference." Cornette: "There was no outside interference!" Young: "You said there was!" Cornette: "No AJ said there was!" Young: "Who interfered!" Cornette: "You! You interfered but you didn't interfere because you're Super Eric so you can't interfere in a match that you're not in." Young: "Super Eric was out there and I missed him again!!" Cornette: "Do me a favor when I go out there and call for you, you come out there because we're gonna straighten this thing out. First base Abbott!" Borash follows behind Cornette as we go into the women's lockerroom and cuts a promo on them because they were making too much noise, and says they're all a bunch of spoiled brats. "If people are gonna make sacrifices then by gum it's gonna start in this room with every single one of you. Spoiled brats!' Commercial.

We're back with Cornette in the ring with Tomko & Styles. Cornette: "Hold on just a second. I want to apologize in advance to all the TNA fans for all the STUPIDITY going on on this television program." HOLY **** - that's the most HONEST ****ing thing I've ever heard on TNA Impact ever. "What we're gonna do is bring Eric Young out here to admit he's one in the same person. Young would you please come out here and explain your identity to this nitwit!" That's not Young coming out though, that's Kaz, and he has both title belts in his right hand. "Kaz I'm not mad at you but you got 'til the count of three to make your way to this ring. ONE, TWO..." and we get the entrance music of Super Eric instead complete with Young in costume. Cornette backs up Tomko and Styles and says PLEASE give me some space. "I remember when I had a little dignity left, I'm actually speaking to you. Please explain to them who you really are, that you are Young, so I can get some peace and quiet." Eric: "Who Commissioner Gordon! I know now of this Eric Young you speak of, fast talking man." Cornette: "I'm losing my patience Eric, tell them who you are. Listen to your partner." Eric: "Why is your face getting red!" Kaz: "Joke's over bro, we're talking about the titles, tell Jim that you're Eric Young and let's go celebrate!" Eric: "That I can not do, tanned handsome lady's man, for I am Super Eric, son of Moltar, and father of Scion." Cornette: "WAIT ONE SECOND! This is the way you want it to be son, I think you need a doctor. You two are stripped of the tag team championship! WHOA!! I said they were stripped, I didn't say you were the champions! Look here! Look here! Everybody saw you lose these things except the Son of Zorro over here so as far as I'm concerned, there are no champions. I'm gonna take these belts back to my office and think about this until next week. Director, play my music, I'm gonna go put a corroted artery through my neck!" AS A RESULT OF THE EDICT THERE ARE NOW NO TNA TAG CHAMPS.


Backstage Storm and Kip James get into a face to face about who has the shittier cowboy gimmick. Seriously - this happens. Storm: "I don't know about this facepaint you wear Sting, maybe you have bad acne, I don't know! But after I beat you, I become a bigger star than anybody. You can go back and tell your kids, kids' kids, and kids' kids' kids that you went to hell with Storm and got your ass beat! Sorry about your damn luck." Roode: "Booker T what you didn't know was that Robert Roode was gonna stop you dead in your tracks. I have made your life and wife completely miserable, so I say why stop tonight! Bring the clown, bring the redneck, because all three of you will find out it PAYS, to be Roode." Storm was definitely the money promo of the three.

* Awesome Kong {C} v. Roxxi Laveaux (TNA Knockouts Title)

Cheerleader Saeed accompanies Kong down to ringside. Opening bell after this commercial break! We come back with Roxxi circling around Kong slowly, going for a lockup and being thrown down with ease. Saeed has a look of smugness in her eyes. Roxxi tries to box but eats a double boob shot and is thrown around the ring with ease. Pulled up by the hair, she's bealed all the way across the ring. Roxxi tries to punch and elbow her way out of trouble again but Kong just shoves her down. The one-sided beatdown continues as the ref warns Kong against any illegal blow. Kong puts all her weight on Roxxi's back and locks two fists around her neck, Roxxi hits a jawbreaker to escape, a running splash to the back. but Kong knocks her down with her belly (seriously) and West says that's like hitting a brick wall. Scoop slan, leg drop, cover for two. Kong goes for a flying heabutt and misses. Kick for two. Spinning backfist misses. Neckbreaker and a senton splash for two! Roxxi is rolling! She pulls up Kong by the hair and tried to go for a Voodoo Drop but she eats a spinning backfist and Awesome Bomb and it's all over. WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: AWESOME KONG.

Backstage Angle flips out because he no longer has a private lockerroom to go in, and Borash reminds him only the champ gets one. Angle angrily vows to win the title and his lockerroom back next week as we go to break.

* Kip James, James Storm & Robert Roode v. Booker T, Sting & BG James

Be-ware! OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW? It's the 3 Live Kru. I'm gonna think that every time BG comes out to that music until the day I die. Booker and Kip start the match. "Say Billy Gunn, how's your career been since WWE?" "Not bad King Booker, how has yours been?" At least that's what I imagine them saying to each other in the lockup. Sting and Robert Roode are both tagged in. Atomic knee drop and a series of clotheslines by Sting for a near fall. B.G. tags in and gets precisely NO offense on Roode, but then ducks a clothesline and knocks Kup to the ground. Ref is distracted as Storm runs in and gets a backcracker as Roode covers for two. He tags out to Kip right as we go to commercial.

We're back with Roode dropkicking BG in the face. Sting yells at him but Roode blows him off. BG is whipped to the corner hard for a clothesline and unless I'm mistaken the crowd is chanting WE WANT BOOKER. Even West acknowledges it. BG tries to punch his way out of trouble but when he hits the ropes they both collide with shoulders and both men go down. Each man crawls for a tag. Roode tags Storm but Booker gets the hot tag and cleans the ring until Kip clubs him in the back, to which Booker responds with a back kick and a clothesline to the outside. Spinebuster on Storm and it's spinaroonie time...or not as Roode cuts himoff. Enzuguiri by Storm. Jacqueline throws in a beer bottle but Morgan runs through the ring and hitsa big boot on Storm to block it, while both Booker and the ref were unaware. Scissor kick by Booker for three! WINNERS: BG, Booker, and Bing err Sting.

Morgan stands up and looks on, applauding. Booker doesn't seem too happy about it though, shoving Sting out of the way to go argue with Morgan. Booker grabs a mic. "I don't need no help from you, and if you wanna back him Sting you got a problem with me, that's bull. What you just said is bull. If you want some you can get some too, but your ass better be big enough to take some, next week." I think Booker just challenged Sting, but that's one of the weakest set-ups for a match I've ever seen. That's the end of the show save for promoting next week's sixth match between Angle and Joe, with Joe's title on the line. Tune in then if you dare!

[superboy]

SPOILERS!!!! Don't scroll down the post if you don't want to know.












5/19/08 Impact

- Jim Cornette comes to the ring and calls out the eight participants in the Deuces Wild tournament and says he will announce two of the teams today. Sting and Cowboy James Storm are the first team picked. Storm says he doesn't want to be Sting's partner and he and Sting go to blows. They announce Sting vs. James Storm in a No DQ match later in the show.

- Jimmy Rave defeated Petey Williams, Curry Man, Johnny Devine, Shark Boy and Consequences Creed in a six-way non-title X Division match.

- Backstage, Jim Cornette announces to the Knockouts that there will be an "Immunity Pole Match" where the winner will be immune from getting her head shaved at the PPV.

- Gail Kim won the Knockouts Immunity Pole match featuring all the participants from the Sacrifice Hair match.

- Sting defeated Cowboy James Storm in a No DQ match.

- Cornette comes out to draw the next two names for the Deuces Wild tournament and picks Matt Morgan and Kip James. They start brawling with each other, so Cornette starts a match between the two.

- Matt Morgan defeated Kip James.

- Scott Steiner & Kurt Angle defeated Kevin Nash & Samoa Joe. Angle attacked Steiner after the match.

Xplosion Match: Motor City Machine Guns & Kaz defeated Black Reign, Rellik & Lance Hoyt.

[superboy]

TNA Sacrifice 2008 PPV Results

* Deuces Are Wild Quarterfinals: Team 3D defeated Sting and James Storm; Brother Devon pinned James Storm after Sting tossed Storm off the top turnbuckle through a table.


* Deuces Are Wild Quarterfinals: Rhino and Christian Cage defeated Booker T and Robert Roode; Rhino pinned Roode after a Gore. Booker lays out both men with a chair afterwards to turn heel.


* Deuces Are Wild Quarterfinals: Latin American Xchange defeated Kip James and Matt Morgan; Hernandez pinned Kip James after Matt Morgan accidentally hit a bicycle kick on James.


* Deuces Are Wild Quarterfinals: AJ Styles and Super Eric defeated BG James and Awesome Kong; Styles pinned James with a roll-up.


* Welcome to the TerrorDome match: Kaz defeated Jimmy Rave, Johnny Devine, Shark Boy, Curry Man, Jay Lethal, Sonjay Dutt, Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley, and Consequences Creed.Kaz won by climbing out of the cage and thus became the number one contender to the TNA X Division Championship and took Kurt Angle's place in the TNA World Heavyweight Championship match (Angle is out due to injury).


* Deuces Are Wild Semi-Finals: Team 3D defeated Christian Cage and Rhino; Brother Ray pinned Rhino after hitting him with a kendo stick.


* Deuces Are Wild Semi-Finals: LAX defeated AJ Styles and Super Eric; Homicide pinned Styles after Hector Guerrero reversed the pin, switching from Styles pinning Homicide to Homicide pinning Styles.


* TNA Knockout Makeover Battle Royal: Gail Kim defeated O.D.B., Traci Brooks, Christy Hemme, Velvet Sky, Salinas, Angelina Love, Roxxi Laveaux, Rhaka Khan, and Jacqueline. Gail Kim won by climbing the ladder and grabbing the contract, so Roxxi Laveaux had her head shaved. Gail Kim receives a TNA Knockout Championship match.


* Deuces Are Wild Finals: LAX defeated Team 3D to win the TNA World Tag Team Championship! Hernandez pinned Brother Devon after a frogsplash. VIVA LA RAZA~!

* Triple Threat Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Samoa Joe {C} vs. Scott Steiner vs. Kaz


Kurt Angle was injured in Korea last week, and was taken out of the main event during the beginning of the show. Jim Cornette announced during the show that the winner of the Terrordome match would take Angle's place, thus Kaz is in the triple threat tonight. Results forthcoming. SAMOA JOE WINS AND RETAINS THE TNA CHAMPIONSHIP. Steiner threw Kaz out to the floor, Joe hit Steiner with an enzuguiri and a muscle buster then pinned him for three. Said to be a good match on the whole.

[superboy]

IMPACT.......
* TNA champion Samoa Joe comes out and announces the main event of the 6/8 Slammiversary PPV will be the King of the Mountain match. Joe says that there will be eight competitors total including himself - Jim Cornette has told him he will pick four challengers and Joe will get to pick the rest. Cornette has picked Robert Roode, Matt Morgan, James Storm and Tomko. Joe says he will name the other challengers next week. Booker T comes out and demands to know why wasn't picked and tells Joe that if Joe doesn't pick him, there will be serious consequences. Booker slaps Joe and they brawl. Christian Cage and Rhino hit the ring. Booker challenges them to a match later tonight and says he'll find partners.

* Kaz & Jay Lethal & Sonjay Dutt defeated Johnny Devine & The Rock N' Rave Infection. After the match, Lethal asks So Cal Val to marry him at Slammiversary and she accepts. Sonjay didn't look happy and had some great facial expressions here.

* TNA Knockouts champion Awesome Kong defeated Gail Kim with the help of Angelina Love.

* Kurt Angle came out and read a letter to Karen asking to take him back and said he hoped she would come to Impact next week.

* TNA Tag Team champions LAX defeated The Motor City Machineguns in a non-title bout.

* Angelina Love and Velvet Sky defeated ODB and Roxxi.

* TNA champ Samoa Joe & Christian Cage & Rhino defeated Team 3D & Booker T. After the match, 3D attacked and bloodied Hector Guerrero.

[superboy]

The road to June 8th’s Slammiversary PPV resumes tonight when Impact rolls onto Spike TV at 9:00 PM.
The King of the Mountain qualifiers will begin, as TNA World Champion Samoa Joe announces four wrestlers to oppose Jim Cornette’s selections for the pre-KOTM matches.

Karen Angle is scheduled to confront her husband Kurt regarding his invitation last week for Karen and their children to return home. In addition, Lax member Homicide will take on Team 3D’s Brother Ray, while Angelina Love squares off against ODB.

Also slated for the show is an update on Abyss and the continuation of Mike Tenay’s sit-down interview with Sting.

[superboy]

TNA IMPACT 5-22-08

Backstage, Jeremy Borash eavesdropped on Team 3D making a deal with someone unseen. Team 3D told Borash to get the hell out of there…

They played a love/hate themed video, highlighting Kurt and Karen Angle, SoCal Val and Black Machismo, Team 3D and Hector Guerrero, and Samoa Joe. The caption at the end asked if this was the beginning or the end for Kurt and Karen…

The opening video aired. Mike Tenay plugged ODB vs. Angelina Love. Don West hyped Matt Morgan vs. Robert Roode in a King of the Mountain qualifying match…

Homicide defeated Brother Ray (with Brother Devon) by disqualification in 3:26. Homicide was on a mission as he just kept coming at Ray despite being fought off repeatedly. Homicide brawled with Ray early. Ray took over after catching a charging Homicide with a big elbow.

Ray slowed the pace of the match down, using his size (and man, there is a lot of size) to overpower Homicide. Ray dedicated a middle rope backsplash (as Tenay called it) to Hector Guerrero, but he missed. Homicide hit multiple closelines, but he could not drop him.

Homicide hit two top rope moves followed by the Gringo Stunner. Before he could score the pin, Devon came in and hit Homicide with a kendo stick, causing the disqualification. Devon brought a table into the ring, but Hernandez came out and laid out both members of Team 3D.

Hernandez attempted to hit the Border Toss on Devon, but Booker T. came in kicked Hernandez in the face. The three then used the tag team title belts to bloody both members of LAX. Ray continued to taunt Guerrero by yelling into the camera. Ray powerbombed Homicide through a table…

Twill’s Two Cents: Homicide can definitely work and he did the majority of it here. This was a natural progression in the feud. I wonder though why Hernandez was not in Homicide’s corner at the start of the match.

Backstage, JB ran into Karen Angle. She told him to expect the unexpected. JB was immediately met by Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed. Saeed told JB to read a note and they would be back later. JB read the note and it said something about $25,000 to wrestle fans…

Back from commercial, a video of The Beautiful People was shown, focusing on their role in Roxxi Laveaux getting her head shaved and Gail Kim losing her title match last week…

ODB said backstage that she hated pretty people, bleach blondes, and that her tits were real and filled with vodka…

2. Angelina Love (with Velvet Sky) defeated ODB in 3:03. Tenay said Gail Kim “severely strained” her ACL and would speak on it next week. ODB spit vodka in Love’s face. Sky distracted ODB right away, allowing Love to gain the advantage. She used the referee’s shirt to wipe her eyes.

Love grounded ODB with a reverse chin lock. She turned it into a sleeper, but ODB lifted her and backed her into the corner to break the hold. She hit a nice fallaway slam and nipped up. She hit a side slam for a nearfall.

The finish came when ODB was knocked out by Sky with the flask as both women approached the ropes. Love scored the pin. After the match, Love and Sky were going to shave ODB’s head. Roxxi made the save. She was going to shave Love’s head, but referee Rudy Charles stopped her. Roxxi hit Charles with the Voodoo Drop…

Twill’s Two Cents: Good match. Love used mat work and ODB showed off her power. I absolutely love The Beautiful People (especially Velvet Sky). Their characters have so many directions they can go in (and Sky can head in my direction).

Backstage, Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash were walking backstage as Tenay wondered whom Joe would choose. A plug for more Abyss footage was shown…

Back from commercial, Tenay plugged Morgan vs. Roode in a qualifying match, as well as a second qualifying match to be determined once Joe made his picks. They wondered what would happen with Kurt and Karen, as well as the Awesome Kong fan challenge…

They showed a video of the history of the King of the Mountain. In one of Jarrett’s victories, you could hear Tenay say in a pissed off tone, “Jarrett is the champion again!” Yes, that was what the fans were thinking too. This was a very good video package highlighting the great moments of past KOTM matches…

Samoa Joe came to the ring with Kevin Nash in tow. Joe was waiting to talk, but Tenay just went on and on and on. Joe said he and Nash had trouble deciding. His first pick was A.J. Styles. His second pick was Rhino. His third pick was Christian Cage. As he led up to the fourth pick, Nash was blushing. Joe named off a bunch of characteristics that described Nash.

He then named his fourth pick, Booker T. Nash was pissed. He took the microphone and asked how he could have Joe’s back without being in the match. Joe said the fans do not pay to have someone watch his back. Nash said he had a problem with someone who does not do what they are told.

Nash said when someone does not do what they are told, the machine breaks down and they break down. Nash said he would not let that happen as he left the ring…

Backstage, JB was walking with Kurt Angle and Frank Trigg. As they both took a piss, Angle asked Frank to have beers with him after the show. Frank said he should be with Karen instead. Kurt said Karen had a bunch of household chores to do, like cleaning and laundry. Trigg wondered why JB was in the bathroom with them and why he was always around…

They plugged live events coming back from commercial. If they come to your town, try to go. TNA does a great job making it worth your while…

Backstage, Lauren was so excited for Val and Lethal getting married. Val was excited and said the Rock ‘N Rave Infection wanted to audition to be their wedding band. Val thought Christy Hemme’s (lack of) clothes were inappropriate. Sonjay said he already had an American Idol finalist singing at the wedding. I think he said Ace Young. I have no idea who that is. They argued and Hoyt hit Dutt with a plastic guitar…

Tenay introduced yet another video, this one of Abyss. The pads in his room look like sheets tacked from the ceiling. He said he was fixed and they told him he was better now. He said he would never be better but it was time for Abyss to come home…

They plugged the Angle drama as well as Roode vs. Morgan…

Back from commercial, Robert Roode was interviewed backstage. Lauren said Roode should give Jim Cornette credit for putting this together. Roode faked a smile but then said he has been spinning his wheels for four years, but he finally has a shot at the heavyweight championship.

Roode congratulated Booker T. for finally seeing things his way. Actually, he has to like him now because they are both heel. He said Matt Morgan did not even qualify to be in the same ring as him. He said he will be in the King of the Mountain match. Good promo.

3. Robert Roode defeated Matt Morgan in a King of the Mountain qualifying match in 3:57. Morgan towered over Roode. That surprised me a little bit. Tenay read a note from “TNA management.” The second qualifying match tonight will be A.J. Styles vs. Booker T.

Morgan followed a huge back body drop with a big boot. He went for another kick, but caught his leg up in the ropes. Roode chopblocked the other leg and continued to work on it. Roode kept Morgan grounded, but did not do much else.

Morgan finally got to his feet and hit a headbutt and closeline. He then hit a sideslam. Morgan powered Roode into the corner. He picked up referee Earl Hebner in a chokehold and dropped him to the ground. Roode rolled up Morgan, put his feet on the ropes and scored the three count…

Kurt Angle, dressed in a suit, made his way through the backstage area…[C]

Does anyone else get annoyed with the stupid crowd shots they show us coming back from commercials? Maybe it is just me…

Tell you what does annoy me for sure though, Eric Young looking for Elvis. He thought he found him but it was a cardboard cutout. He met a guy named Kenny who smoked away most of his brain cells. Even he knew Elvis was dead…

They showed another “As the Angle Turns” video. Some of this is stupid and corny. Other parts are hilarious. However, the theme music and the “serious” narration is absolutely classic. Here we go…

Angle made his way to the ring. West said Angle was being sincere in his own mind. Angle introduced “the most beautiful woman in the world,” Mrs. Karen Angle. A “Karen Styles” chant broke out. Funny.

Is Karen wearing a shirt or a table cloth? Karen was crying. Kurt asked Karen to accept her role. Kurt said Karen gets caught up in Dr. Phil drama. Karen said she came tonight with a shred of hope they could work it out. She said she wanted a divorce.

Kurt told Karen he could change; that he could be the man she wanted him to be. He asked if she was seeing A.J. Styles. She said they were just friends and A.J. was there for her. Kurt went down on two knees and begged Karen to stay. Karen dropped the microphone and took off.

Kurt yelled at Karen as she walked away. “Do it for the kids!” “I can change.” “Karen! Karen! Karen!” Angle was “heartbroken” in the ring as Karen retreated up the ramp…

Back from commercial, they plugged the best of TNA 2007 DVD and more live events…

Tenay said Petey Williams would defend the X Division title against Kaz at the PPV. He said JB “had his hands full” backstage with Kong and Saeed. JB wanted nothing to do with the fan challenge, but if he did not go throw with it, Kong would destroy him…

They showed a video showcasing the transformation of Petey Williams into someone Scott Steiner could be proud of. Highlights of Kaz winning the Terror Dome was shown as well…

Lauren interviewed A.J. Styles backstage. Styles reiterated him and Karen just being friends. He addressed Tomko being mad at him for finding a new tag team partner. Styles wondered where Tomko has been. Tomko was pissed at Styles for losing their titles.

Styles stood right up to Tomko saying he is tired of people trying to intimidate him. He said he is going to do what he wants, when he wants. Tomko respected that and shook Styles’ hand, telling him he was now on his own…

Back from commercial, part two of the Sting interview took place. Sting said he has barely seen Jeff Jarrett due to his personal tragedies and he is missed by the entire locker room. He mentioned Jim Hellwig again...

JB stood in the ring surrounded by the King of the Mountain “set.” He explained the rules of the match because they are pretty ridiculous and easy to forget…

Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed came to the ring. JB said he wanted nothing to do with this. Why are they going to JB with this? Why aren’t they going to Cornette? Kong would destroy JB if he did not make the challenge…

JB said a female of at least 18 years of age was welcome to accept the challenge. An athletic looking blonde woman took the challenge. Tenay told JB to have her sign the release waiver now!…

Awesome Kong defeated Melissa in 1:15. Kong beat the crap out of her and hit the Awesome Bomb for the pin…

Backstage, Brother Ray told Lauren what happened tonight was payback. He said Lauren was turned on by their attack as he rubbed her cheek. They warned A.J. Styles because he was facing Booker T.

Booker said he has been disrespected since he came to TNA. He called himself the most decorated champion in wrestling history. He said A.J. would be a stepping stone. Booker was upset with his locker room. He grabbed a shirt and said, “Look at this!” Ray grabbed it and said, “That’s mine Book.” Booker turned over a locker and kept bitching…

Booker T. defeated A.J. Styles in a King of the Mountain qualifying match in 4:52. For all of those people who complain about the Wrestlemania DVDs cutting out classic theme music, it makes me wonder how TNA can use basically the exact same song for Booker.

Slow start to the match. Booker was able to control the offense with punches, kicks, and chops about a minute into the bout. Styles gained the offensive advantage and began to whip Booker into multiple corners.

Booker hit a huge kick and bodyslam. Booker punched Styles and West noted Booker had to open up his fist. I have not heard that since Gorilla Monsoon pointed out that rule back in the 80s.

Booker controlled A.J. for awhile but Styles hit a sweet springboard top rope forearm. Tomko made his way to ringside. Styles went for a springboard again, but Tomko tripped him. Booker hit the Bookend for the victory…

Tomko confronted Styles. Styles punched Tomko and before they could brawl, two referees stopped them…

Back from commercial, Styles and Tomko were still going at it. Team 3D ran to the ring. Brother Ray needed an oxygen mask. Styles held his own for awhile, but the four on one advantage proved to be too much.

Tomko hit Styles in the head with a steel chain. Booker warned Hebner to stay out of it. Styles bladed. All four men traded off hitting their moves. Does A.J. have any friends? Is this going to go on for the rest of the show?

Tenay called for help. Karen Angle ran to the ring. That will even things up! Karen covered A.J., and then slapped Brother Ray. Feeling intimidated, she went and got Kurt Angle. He had a chair. You know what is coming next. After being egged on by the four, Angle swung and sort of hit Styles with the chair.

Karen covered up Styles again. Angle threw her off and held up Styles as the others forced Karen to look. Kurt screamed at Karen that all of this was her fault as the show went off the air…