Feel the need to have a mate - why close the first thread

Samson The Cat · 01-31-2007, 06:32 AM

Oh come on. One time I make an OT post and you close the thread. That I diverge only shows that I associate, which again means that I think ...I guess.

To answer the question, if I feel the need to have a mate. I say yes - not now necessarily.

Do you need someone who could patch up your weaknesses? Yes and no. Actually I find people with too few weaknesses and people that beat me in a lot of ways to be very intimating. So when looking for a partner I don't scan girls for the absence of my weaknesses. I go by overall likelyness, the looks (cuteness) and even sort out the ones that are too perfect. Of course that makes approaches even harder. You can't tell a girl you choose her for inner beauty or even worse inner cuteness, as it sounds like want to say something different, something negative instead.

**Bill5461** · 01-31-2007, 12:18 PM

First off, what's an "OT" post. Second, Considering the posters here, did you ever think the thread wouldn't go the way it did?

Samson The Cat · 01-31-2007, 12:37 PM

1. OT = Off Topic.
2. I don't know.

Wolf · 01-31-2007, 01:43 PM

Samson stop putting the blame on yourself. The majority of the thread was off-topic, and headed in a new direction. Plus I wanted to lock it to get me power streak on.

SilverSpoon · 01-31-2007, 02:04 PM

Whoa, I didn't even realize you were a moderator here until now.

**Plastic Flute** · 01-31-2007, 06:05 PM

I wouldnt go to the Wedding anyway . The Thought of Darko wearing White is Hideous to me.

Captain Beefheart · 02-01-2007, 02:56 PM

Maybe part of what's not working for you it's because all you do is sit there spliting hairs saying "I'll have one of "X" so I can achieve "Y"." What about just letting love happen when it happens for it's own sake? I mean, you're going to be attracted to what you're attracted to, but I don't think it really works the same way as you are going about it here.

You don't need to find perfect love everlasting in your mid 20'sor bust. Don't put so much pressure on yourself, you've got the time you've got.

As for the question.

Some people feel better about the curve balls life serves up at them when they have a warm body to fall asleep with, some don't need that. I've always felt like a lot of personality characteristics that make someone able to be deeply in love with someone else are also reflective of a little bit of insecurity and a dislike of loneliness.

Usually "needy" people don't tend have long-term relationships, because their partner gets on their nerves and there's no incentive to deal with it.

Sometimes I've wonder objectively if i've ever been in love, or if it's still infatuation to this day. The doubt would suggest the latter, the nagging feeling would suggest the former. Who knows. I am told that I am a very loveable person, and I'll be honest, no point in fronting now, even though I know I'm running the risk of sounding extremely cocky, most of the time I can see why people would say that. I put a lot of effort into my friendships, family relationships, romantic relationships. I'm communicative, thoughtful, caring, and yeah very needy. I'm reliable, trustworthy, and (often, but not always, I won't kid myself ) fun to be around. I've definitely got faults, don't think I'm saying I don't (ie: I am communicative in the positive reinforcement sense, but I have a harder time with talking about negative things because I hate fighting, so negative things tend to build up inside me...I'm EXTREMELY scatterbrained.I change my mind a LOT...I don't like asking for help even when I know I need it.. I can be rather snide and petty sometimes...you get the idea).

I can see why a woman would think I'm generally a decent person and usually enjoy my company, so I'm genuinely not afraid that I am unloveable. I'm as loveable as anyone else. God, this sounds so full of swagger it kind of sickens me.But in order to get to the root of an issue you can't be afraid of saying anything. So yeah, that's was up.

-Beefheart

Dark Dude · 02-10-2007, 03:14 PM

samson, I have and idea. Plus sized women. they will give you all the atteintion and "patching up" you need or dont nedd or you know what im not even gonna bother. do what you like.

SilverSpoon · 02-11-2007, 03:03 PM

Samson has standards, man!

Dark Dude · 02-11-2007, 07:08 PM

insanely high standards. fat chicks need love too.

Jocasta · 02-12-2007, 03:59 AM

And fat dudes.

SilverSpoon · 02-12-2007, 09:11 AM

Which is why you often seen fat chicks with fat dudes.

Dark Dude · 02-12-2007, 01:53 PM

fat on fat sex is amazing. ask peter and lois.

SilverSpoon · 02-12-2007, 04:51 PM

Griffin?

01-31-2007, 06:32 AM	#1 (permalink)
Samson The Cat Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Thuringia Posts: 2,197 My Profile	Feel the need to have a mate - why close the first thread Oh come on. One time I make an OT post and you close the thread. That I diverge only shows that I associate, which again means that I think ...I guess. To answer the question, if I feel the need to have a mate. I say yes - not now necessarily. Do you need someone who could patch up your weaknesses? Yes and no. Actually I find people with too few weaknesses and people that beat me in a lot of ways to be very intimating. So when looking for a partner I don't scan girls for the absence of my weaknesses. I go by overall likelyness, the looks (cuteness) and even sort out the ones that are too perfect. Of course that makes approaches even harder. You can't tell a girl you choose her for inner beauty or even worse inner cuteness, as it sounds like want to say something different, something negative instead.

01-31-2007, 06:05 PM	#6 (permalink)
Plastic Flute ICHiBAN HoOT Join Date: May 2006 Location: New Jersey Posts: 12,421 My Profile	I wouldnt go to the Wedding anyway . The Thought of Darko wearing White is Hideous to me. Last edited by Plastic Flute : 01-31-2007 at 06:06 PM.

02-01-2007, 02:56 PM	#7 (permalink)
Captain Beefheart Mu nótahu Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: In a West End town, a dead end world Posts: 3,599 My Profile	Maybe part of what's not working for you it's because all you do is sit there spliting hairs saying "I'll have one of "X" so I can achieve "Y"." What about just letting love happen when it happens for it's own sake? I mean, you're going to be attracted to what you're attracted to, but I don't think it really works the same way as you are going about it here. You don't need to find perfect love everlasting in your mid 20'sor bust. Don't put so much pressure on yourself, you've got the time you've got. As for the question. Some people feel better about the curve balls life serves up at them when they have a warm body to fall asleep with, some don't need that. I've always felt like a lot of personality characteristics that make someone able to be deeply in love with someone else are also reflective of a little bit of insecurity and a dislike of loneliness. Usually "needy" people don't tend have long-term relationships, because their partner gets on their nerves and there's no incentive to deal with it. Sometimes I've wonder objectively if i've ever been in love, or if it's still infatuation to this day. The doubt would suggest the latter, the nagging feeling would suggest the former. Who knows. I am told that I am a very loveable person, and I'll be honest, no point in fronting now, even though I know I'm running the risk of sounding extremely cocky, most of the time I can see why people would say that. I put a lot of effort into my friendships, family relationships, romantic relationships. I'm communicative, thoughtful, caring, and yeah very needy. I'm reliable, trustworthy, and (often, but not always, I won't kid myself ) fun to be around. I've definitely got faults, don't think I'm saying I don't (ie: I am communicative in the positive reinforcement sense, but I have a harder time with talking about negative things because I hate fighting, so negative things tend to build up inside me...I'm EXTREMELY scatterbrained.I change my mind a LOT...I don't like asking for help even when I know I need it.. I can be rather snide and petty sometimes...you get the idea). I can see why a woman would think I'm generally a decent person and usually enjoy my company, so I'm genuinely not afraid that I am unloveable. I'm as loveable as anyone else. God, this sounds so full of swagger it kind of sickens me.But in order to get to the root of an issue you can't be afraid of saying anything. So yeah, that's was up. -Beefheart Last edited by Captain Beefheart : 02-01-2007 at 03:17 PM.

01-31-2007, 12:18 PM	#2 (permalink)
Bill5461 Scarlett Mod Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Upstate New York Posts: 11,578 My Profile	First off, what's an "OT" post. Second, Considering the posters here, did you ever think the thread wouldn't go the way it did?

01-31-2007, 12:37 PM	#3 (permalink)
Samson The Cat Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Thuringia Posts: 2,197 My Profile	1. OT = Off Topic. 2. I don't know.

01-31-2007, 01:43 PM	#4 (permalink)
Wolf The Elder Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 4,166 My Profile	Samson stop putting the blame on yourself. The majority of the thread was off-topic, and headed in a new direction. Plus I wanted to lock it to get me power streak on.

01-31-2007, 02:04 PM	#5 (permalink)
SilverSpoon Kamen Rider Kiva Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: www.canofnothing.com Posts: 7,517	Whoa, I didn't even realize you were a moderator here until now.

02-10-2007, 03:14 PM	#8 (permalink)
Dark Dude sla-pus a bit-chus Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: San Antonio Posts: 926 My Profile	samson, I have and idea. Plus sized women. they will give you all the atteintion and "patching up" you need or dont nedd or you know what im not even gonna bother. do what you like.

02-11-2007, 03:03 PM	#9 (permalink)
SilverSpoon Kamen Rider Kiva Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: www.canofnothing.com Posts: 7,517	Samson has standards, man!

02-11-2007, 07:08 PM	#10 (permalink)
Dark Dude sla-pus a bit-chus Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: San Antonio Posts: 926 My Profile	insanely high standards. fat chicks need love too.

02-12-2007, 03:59 AM	#11 (permalink)
Jocasta Joshtopian Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 17,424 My Profile	And fat dudes.

02-12-2007, 09:11 AM	#12 (permalink)
SilverSpoon Kamen Rider Kiva Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: www.canofnothing.com Posts: 7,517	Which is why you often seen fat chicks with fat dudes.

02-12-2007, 01:53 PM	#13 (permalink)
Dark Dude sla-pus a bit-chus Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: San Antonio Posts: 926 My Profile	fat on fat sex is amazing. ask peter and lois.

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02-12-2007, 04:51 PM	#14 (permalink)
SilverSpoon Kamen Rider Kiva Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: www.canofnothing.com Posts: 7,517	Griffin?