TeenHollywood Network
  • Location:
  • Home >
  • Forums
Go Back   FanHost Forums > Culture, Sports & Technology > Jokes & Humor
Register FAQ Members List Arcade Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-10-2008, 11:36 AM   #1 (permalink)
Newbie
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 10
Default Doctors' Comments On Patient Charts

* "Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year."

* "On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely."

* "The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993."

* "Discharge status: Alive but without permission."

* "Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful."

* "The patient refused an autopsy."

* "The patient has no past history of suicides."

* "Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital."

* "Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days."

* "Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch."

* "She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night."

* "She is numb from her toes down."

* "While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home."

* "The skin was moist and dry."

* "Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches."

* "Patient was alert and unresponsive."

* "She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce."

* "I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy."

* "The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead."

* "Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities."

* "Skin: Somewhat pale but present."

* "Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree."

* "By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart stopped, and he was feeling better."

* "The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed."

* "When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room."

* "Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing."

* "The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him."

* "The patient expired on the floor uneventfully."
Ameila is offline   Reply With Quote

Old 03-10-2008, 12:44 PM   #2 (permalink)
Science Boy
 
MSFixR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Dante's Inferno, Circle 4
Posts: 8,501
Default

9.
MSFixR is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:57 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.1.0
Powered by vBulletin. Copyright © 2007 TeenHollywood.com II Inc.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90