I Know a Few of These Kind

**MSFixR** · 05-30-2007, 01:52 PM

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse.

Here is a letter sent to Mrs. Fenton from the store.

Dear Mrs. Fenton:

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's cars when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in house wares ...' and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the service desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'd bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera, used it as a mirror and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if she knew where to find the antidepressants.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.

12. December 6: While in the auto department, practiced his 'Madonna Look' using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screams, 'NO! NO! It's those voices again!!'

And last - but not least...

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile and then yelled very loudly, 'There's no toilet paper in here!'

BlackWolf · 05-30-2007, 08:54 PM

8 - heard a few.

**Val** · 05-31-2007, 08:14 PM

Nice history ...
I have some to post.
9.

**MissyO** · 06-01-2007, 06:38 AM

**eliza'snumber1fan** · 06-06-2007, 07:44 AM

05-30-2007, 01:52 PM	#1 (permalink)
MSFixR Science Boy Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Dante's Inferno, Circle 4 Posts: 9,597 My Profile	I Know a Few of These Kind Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here is a letter sent to Mrs. Fenton from the store. Dear Mrs. Fenton: Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below. 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's cars when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at 5 minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3 in house wares ...' and watched what happened. 5. August 4: Went to the service desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway. 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'd bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera, used it as a mirror and picked his nose. 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if she knew where to find the antidepressants. 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme. 12. December 6: While in the auto department, practiced his 'Madonna Look' using different size funnels. 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screams, 'NO! NO! It's those voices again!!' And last - but not least... 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile and then yelled very loudly, 'There's no toilet paper in here!'

05-30-2007, 08:54 PM	#2 (permalink)
BlackWolf Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 28,119 My Profile	8 - heard a few.

05-31-2007, 08:14 PM	#3 (permalink)
Val Gear Heads Moderator Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Brazil Posts: 8,156 My Profile	Nice history ... I have some to post. 9.

06-01-2007, 06:38 AM	#4 (permalink)
MissyO Perennially Disgruntled Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Sydney Posts: 4,201 My Profile	9

06-06-2007, 07:44 AM	#5 (permalink)
eliza'snumber1fan moderator Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 5,185 My Profile	9

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