A thought.

Lee · 08-20-2008, 06:19 AM

I have alot of poem's or alot of wirting.
But I'm not sure if I what to type them on here.
Should I?

Ophelia · 08-20-2008, 08:36 PM

Yes! Go for it.

Lee · 08-20-2008, 10:58 PM

Are you sure
Your not BSing me are
Because your the only one said something

**MSFixR** · 08-21-2008, 06:13 AM

Go for it, unless you do not seek an honest response.

Lee · 08-21-2008, 07:01 AM

I think I need one.

Lee · 08-21-2008, 07:03 AM

Oh, and there mostly about her or how I feel.

Lee · 08-21-2008, 07:20 AM

I'm woundering why I shouldn't post them,
Because I can't spell so great.
I'm woundering why I should post them,
Because I feel like getting them out.

Lee · 08-21-2008, 07:27 AM

Well, hear's one of them.

At one end sits the Seducer of she.
The wind from behind the woman doth play.
The Formless One, Null, lies furthest from they
The Old One beside the Serpent sits not.
Tis to the Prisoner's left that he doth rot

I don't know if anybody will belive me.
But I do not remember writing that. (Period)

Lee · 08-21-2008, 07:35 AM

Here's my newest one.

I got up
Woundering what's she's doing
Sitting in the chair
Looking up at the wall
Where her picture is
Just realize again that it's a picture
Makeing me wounder more and more
Now woundering about me
Why I'm I not getting up from this chair
And now woundering if I could do anything

**MSFixR** · 08-21-2008, 07:43 AM

I like the first one much better than the second for two reasons, it has meter and it rhymes. I have a very simplistic view of poetry.

**MissyO** · 08-21-2008, 08:17 AM

I suck at poetry, so my opinion doesn't count for much.

Lee · 08-21-2008, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissyO

I suck at poetry, so my opinion doesn't count for much.

Doasn't mean you shouldn't say anything.

**MSFixR** · 08-21-2008, 11:43 AM

That's right, people on this site express themselves all the time and don't know a damn thing!

Captain Beefheart · 08-21-2008, 07:37 PM

If you resign yourself to listen to the advice of others when it comes to writing then don't do it.

If you aren't completely consumed with passion for writing, such that words flow naturally out of you, you shouldn’t even try. Just “wait patiently” for the passion to arise in you and to do something else in the meantime. This idea could probably be applied to any artistic discipline or vocation really and i'm not even recapitulating in vulgarized form the tired romantic ideal of the spontaneous, divinely inspired artist. It's just the way that it is.

Ophelia · 08-21-2008, 08:50 PM

Lookit. I get what Beefy is saying but you don't really need to be a "writer" to come here and express yourself in the written way. I dig you're trying to deal with stuff in life and choosing to use poetry as a way to purge or emote. I think thats cool. You keep doing it and we will read it. I might do it to if I ever have the guts.

Captain Beefheart · 08-21-2008, 09:19 PM

Don't get me wrong the response wasn't trying to discourage anyone from posting their own stuff. What I meant was more angled at critical opinions on a board(be them wack or positive). If something discourages you enough to abandon your quest for expression, then I don't believe whatever you were trying to express was really all that vital to begin with. To the world, anyway, and to yourself, most certainly.

As for the poems I stopped reading after this:

Quote:

The wind from behind the woman doth play.

That feels to me like a politicization of your own honesty. Being compelled to voice something genuine is "making something" out of your talent, even if you're not sure what the effect is going to be on people. But this just feels like you took sum 101 poetry class and thought you were sum 17th century bourgeois english there for a second.

Lee · 08-22-2008, 02:37 AM

I didn't take a lesson of any kind.
It's what I do.
Or try to do.

Lee · 08-22-2008, 02:58 AM

I guess I don't really need to meet her
I guess I got all I really needed in mind
Or mabey I mean in my soul
I guess it's like I meant her in person
But not fully of course
Just bit's and pience's
And pretty much what I think I know
Is a lie or the truth
I'll never know
That's just my life
Instead of going to work, having kid's, having a wife, ext.
I guess she's getting marryed
I guess I'm kinda glad too
I don't need any kid's
First of all I couldn't read to them
Not that good anyway's

I don't know about this one.
I think I can write a book better.
If I can spell better and stuff of course.

08-20-2008, 06:19 AM	#1 (permalink)
Lee Mystery man Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 185 My Profile	A thought. I have alot of poem's or alot of wirting. But I'm not sure if I what to type them on here. Should I? Last edited by Lee; 08-20-2008 at 06:19 AM..

08-21-2008, 07:37 PM	#14 (permalink)
Captain Beefheart Mu nótahu Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: In a West End town, a dead end world Posts: 4,314 My Profile	If you resign yourself to listen to the advice of others when it comes to writing then don't do it. If you aren't completely consumed with passion for writing, such that words flow naturally out of you, you shouldn’t even try. Just “wait patiently” for the passion to arise in you and to do something else in the meantime. This idea could probably be applied to any artistic discipline or vocation really and i'm not even recapitulating in vulgarized form the tired romantic ideal of the spontaneous, divinely inspired artist. It's just the way that it is. Last edited by Captain Beefheart; 08-21-2008 at 07:46 PM..

08-21-2008, 08:50 PM	#15 (permalink)
Ophelia Josh's Loin Warmer Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Joshtopia Posts: 7,538 My Profile	Lookit. I get what Beefy is saying but you don't really need to be a "writer" to come here and express yourself in the written way. I dig you're trying to deal with stuff in life and choosing to use poetry as a way to purge or emote. I think thats cool. You keep doing it and we will read it. I might do it to if I ever have the guts. Last edited by Ophelia; 08-21-2008 at 08:52 PM..

08-22-2008, 02:37 AM	#17 (permalink)
Lee Mystery man Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 185 My Profile	I didn't take a lesson of any kind. It's what I do. Or try to do. Last edited by Lee; 08-22-2008 at 02:51 AM..

08-22-2008, 02:58 AM	#18 (permalink)
Lee Mystery man Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 185 My Profile	I guess I don't really need to meet her I guess I got all I really needed in mind Or mabey I mean in my soul I guess it's like I meant her in person But not fully of course Just bit's and pience's And pretty much what I think I know Is a lie or the truth I'll never know That's just my life Instead of going to work, having kid's, having a wife, ext. I guess she's getting marryed I guess I'm kinda glad too I don't need any kid's First of all I couldn't read to them Not that good anyway's I don't know about this one. I think I can write a book better. If I can spell better and stuff of course. Last edited by Lee; 08-22-2008 at 03:01 AM..

08-20-2008, 08:36 PM	#2 (permalink)
Ophelia Josh's Loin Warmer Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Joshtopia Posts: 7,538 My Profile	Yes! Go for it.

08-20-2008, 10:58 PM	#3 (permalink)
Lee Mystery man Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 185 My Profile	Are you sure Your not BSing me are Because your the only one said something

08-21-2008, 06:13 AM	#4 (permalink)
MSFixR Moderate Moderator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Dante's Inferno, Circle 5 Posts: 13,283 My Profile	Go for it, unless you do not seek an honest response.

08-21-2008, 07:01 AM	#5 (permalink)
Lee Mystery man Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 185 My Profile	I think I need one.

08-21-2008, 07:03 AM	#6 (permalink)
Lee Mystery man Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 185 My Profile	Oh, and there mostly about her or how I feel.

08-21-2008, 07:20 AM	#7 (permalink)
Lee Mystery man Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 185 My Profile	I'm woundering why I shouldn't post them, Because I can't spell so great. I'm woundering why I should post them, Because I feel like getting them out.

08-21-2008, 07:27 AM	#8 (permalink)
Lee Mystery man Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 185 My Profile	Well, hear's one of them. At one end sits the Seducer of she. The wind from behind the woman doth play. The Formless One, Null, lies furthest from they The Old One beside the Serpent sits not. Tis to the Prisoner's left that he doth rot I don't know if anybody will belive me. But I do not remember writing that. (Period)

08-21-2008, 07:35 AM	#9 (permalink)
Lee Mystery man Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 185 My Profile	Here's my newest one. I got up Woundering what's she's doing Sitting in the chair Looking up at the wall Where her picture is Just realize again that it's a picture Makeing me wounder more and more Now woundering about me Why I'm I not getting up from this chair And now woundering if I could do anything

08-21-2008, 07:43 AM	#10 (permalink)
MSFixR Moderate Moderator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Dante's Inferno, Circle 5 Posts: 13,283 My Profile	I like the first one much better than the second for two reasons, it has meter and it rhymes. I have a very simplistic view of poetry.

08-21-2008, 08:17 AM	#11 (permalink)
MissyO Perennially Disgruntled Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Sydney Posts: 4,398 My Profile	I suck at poetry, so my opinion doesn't count for much.

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08-21-2008, 11:43 AM	#13 (permalink)
MSFixR Moderate Moderator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Dante's Inferno, Circle 5 Posts: 13,283 My Profile	That's right, people on this site express themselves all the time and don't know a damn thing!