We open this show with the voice of Joey Styles, something you'll never hear again, and clips of Rob Van Dam and Sabu, two superstarts you'll never see again. This is like a reminder of how far ECW has gone downhill since it first started airing on Sci-Fi. At least in the early days it still featured a lot of ECW Originals, almost all of whom are gone now other than Guido, Tazz, Big Stevie Cool and Tommy Dreamer. Pyros go off and we're on the air!
The ring announcer says "Please welcome the voice of ECW... Mike Adamle!" Mike comes down to the ring to a chorus of boos and takes a mic. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, a lot of people have been asking me about what happened last... Tuesday night on ECW and why my sudden departure from the broadcasting table. First of all let me just say in essence, I lost my cool and I need to apologize, #1 to my partner a tremendous individusl wrestler and guy Tazz, I didn't mean to leave you in the lurch. I also apologize to all of you, the great ECW fans." (Booooooo.) "I've been a broadcaster a lot longer than most of you have been alive. I played in the NFL for seven years, covered it for 9 years after that.. blah blah blah blah.. and yes I was the host of American Gladiators. But you know, I had no idea how hard this job was, and how great the ECW fans are. Have I made mistakes - absolutely. I'll be the first one to admit that. I've got a group backstage who aren't shy about letting me know when I screw up. My purpose is to be here tonight to say one I love WWE and that I love being on ECW, and I will do everything in my power to be as professional as I can and bring you the best product that ECW fans deserve. Despise me if you will but enjoy the 100th episode of ECW on Sci-Fi. Thanks for listening!"
Tommy Dreamer's music hits and he's dragging a shopping cart full of PLUNDAH to the ring! Big Stevie Cool himself Steven Richards joins Tazz and Adamle at the commentary position for this match!
* Tommy Dreamer v. Mike Knox (Extreme Rules Match)
Richards reminds us that Dreamer is "the heart and soul of ECW" and if he was talking about the ORIGINAL ECW I'd agree, but the heart and soul of WWECW is more like Mike Knox - jacked up with no place to go. It's only a minute or so before Dreamer and Knox spill to the outside and Knox whacks Dreamer with a baking sheet. Delayed vertical suplex back inside the ring by Knox but he only gets a one count on the cover. Richards gravelly voice is so much better than the dulcet tones of Adamle on commentary, if only because he knows exactly whathe's talking about unlike Mr. NFL. Dreamer dropkicks a trash can into Knox' face and then whacks him with a hockey stick. Back in the ring he breaks a canoe paddle in half over Knox' head. Shopping cart is emptied and thrown into the ring! That backfires for Tommy as Knox slams him on it, but Tommy recovers and knocks Knox into the tree of woe before caning him. He goes outside for the trash can, bonks Knox with it, sets up the can AND the shopping cart, then does his E-C-W dropkick making a trash can sandwich with the cart and Knox' face! Dreamer goes out and brings in a table. This backfires too as he eats a belly to back suplex through the table. Knox covers him for two. Knox goes out and brings in a chair but ends up feeding it to Dreamer. Dreamer tries to DDT him on it but gets a low blow, then Knox DOES THE KNOX onto the chair and it's lights out for Dreamer. WINNER: MIKE KNOX.
That's right, even on the 100th episode, the one they've made such a big deal out of, the "heart of ECW" can't get a win. Adamle makes a bad joke about what shakes like jelly, well Kelly Kelly of course! She's next after these commercial messages, but first it's the ECW ZOMBIE being caned by Sandman. Damn do I miss Sandman!
We return with a promo for Raw next week, promoting Triple H being caught in the middle between William Regal and Randy Orton. Our announcer says up next is KELLY'S EXPOSE and she is in the ring wearing a tight revealing shiny black outfit, which she takes the zipper down on to reveal her assets. As she dances to "Throw it on Me" Layla El comes out and starts doing a dance routine of her own. Kelly shoves her aside and starts again, then Layla does the same. Woo, how exciting. Yay and stuff. This continues for a while until Kelly finally slaps her in the face and they get in a catfight. The loudest boos of the night are heard when the referees pull them apart.
We flash back to September 2006, the 16th episode, where RVD and Hardcore Holly had a fight that split Holly's back open. Commercial.
We're back with more ECW highlights, including the 55th episode on June 26th of last year when Roddy Piper smashed a cake into Matt Striker's face, before being thrown into the ring to face the Boogeyman and have worms dripped into his mouth. For once I have to actually agree with Adamle - the cake alone was good, the worms was overkill on an already good joke. We see clips of Palumbo beating up CM Punk last week. Palumbo is backstage. "CM Punk, you get in my face like that again, I'm knocking you out." That interview was mercifully short given how horrible it was.
Shelton Benjamin's music hits and he makes his way down towards the ring, and since he's not dressed to compete Adamle makes the correct assumption that he's joining the broadcast booth. Kofi Kingston's music hits and fortunately Adamle doesn't make the usual joke, although Benjamin makes one about beating him before Adamle leaves during the middle of another broadcast. Actually somebody DID just spit out the Jamaican Me Crazy line so I spoke too soon, but I wasn't paying attention for a second so I'm not sure who.
* Kofi Kingston v. Matt Striker
Striker actually gets the first cover of the match but it's only a one count. Kofi ducks a clothesline and hits a dropkick to the face. "BO! BO! BO!" Double legdrop. Cover for two. Benjamin puts over Kingston beating him twice as a rare accomplishment. Jamaican buzzsaw connects when Kingston rebounds off a throw into the ropes and Kingston immediately gets the three count. WINNER: KOFI KINGSTON.
Almost before the bell has even rung to signal the end Benjamin is in the ring drilling Kingston's head into the canvas. At least that got a few boos from the crowd, which is more reaction than the match itself got. Colin Delaney is walking backstage and CM Punk leads a round of applause for the kid, as nearly every babyface on the roster cheers him on as he heads towards the ring. Obviously his contract match against Armando Estrada is up next. Judgment Day promo and a commercial break!
Another highlight from the past and this one is from Episode 43, which took place just a couple of days after I was at WrestleMania in Detroit. What's sad is that the match they had on free TV was better than the one I paid to sit ringside and see! Time for our next match.
* Colin Delaney v. Armando Estrada (ECW contract on the line for Delaney)
Estrada is looking quite... WELL... and Adamle puts over the storyline that he was a former heavyweight champion in Cuba. The bell rings as Estrada smiles, flexes his biceps, and poses to show off his abs. Delaney tries to get a cover right away to no avail, as Estrada puts him down, slaps him around, yells in his face and gives him a beal all the way across the ring. Lazy cover and Delaney kicks out at two. There's a lackluster "let's go Co-lin" chant, but it's better than no chant at all. Delaney avoids a charging Estrada in the corner and then actually gets in a little offense, wailing on him with rights and hitting a dropkick. It's all for naught as Estrada dumps him through the ropes and then chops him down to the floor. Delaney is pulled up to the apron by his hair but he slides through Estrada's legs and manages to make a quick roll-up for three! WINNER AND RECIPIENT OF AN ECW CONTRACT: COLIN DELANEY~!
Delaney runs around the ring high-fiving everybody before Tazz stops him for an interview. "All those weeks of beatings, this all makes it worth it here. I want to thank everyone who supported me, my mentor Tommy Dreamer, and everybody who's down with me who made me come out here every week. Thank you Tazz, thank you everyone!" He continues high-fiving the fans all the way up the ramp and running around like a giddy child who just got his favorite toy as a Christmas present. Well congratulations kid, you finally got the storyline contract, but more importantly since you already had that contract IRL you got your first win on WWE TV. Smackdown Rebound from last Friday follows with Taker being stripped of the title. Commercial.
Morrison and Miz have joined the announce table when we return. Miz congratulates Adamle on not screwing up their names and Miz gives Tazz a "Chick Magnet" shirt. Adamle asks if there's one for him and Miz says they don't make them in kid sizes.
* Bam Neely & Chavo Guerrero v. CM Punk & Kane
Morrison says since Cinco De Mayo was yesterday who knows if Chavo is in shape for tonight's match. No Kane pyros in the corners even though he comes out last and starts the match first against Neely, clubbing him down. Neely tries to shoot the leg to no avail. Neely tries to kick at the leg and gets punched, clotheslined, and scoop slammed hard. Punk makes the tag and leaps in for a cover. Morrison reminds us he hates everything about Punk, but notes he does know exactly what he's doing in the ring. Neely overpowers him, tags in Chavo and scoop slams him. Chavo tries to leap on him but Punk gets his knees up. Snap suplex by Punk for a one count. The "CM PUNK" crowd chant is among the night's loudest. Chavo shoves him into the corner, Neely tries to interfere, Punk knocks him off the apron to the floor. Chavo charges in and gets elevated over the ropes into his partner, which leads to a commercial break.
We return with a promo for the Twist of Fate - The Matt & Jeff Hardy Story DVD set. Punk is working over the left arm of Neely. Morrison and Miz complain that Adamle didn't introduce them when we came back from break. Knox recovers and tags in Chavo as the tag champs mock Adamle and ask why he doesn't go Jamaic' Someone Crazy. Loud CHA-VO SUCKS chant as he works on Punk and hits a back senton for two. Chinlock applied as Punk winces in pain. Loud CM Punk chant (particularly from the children in the crowd) before Chavo slams his head down hard and tags in Neely, who beats him up some more and covers him for two. Miz says everyone should watch The Dirtsheet on
www.WWE.com and thanks The Tazz, who thanks The Miz right back!
Chavo back in again stomping on Punk's chest. Leg hooked for a two count. Chavo punches Kane to draw him in the ring, and as the ref throws him out the two-on-one cheating continues. Neely is tagged back in and Morrison says he was a former border security guard. Maybe that's why Chico Alvarez always calls him THE FENCE. Punk hits a flying clothesline and Neely is dazed. Both men crawl for tags and Punk gets his first! Big boot to Chavo's face and a big back bodydrop. Kane knocks Neely off the apron, dumps Chavo dangerously over the ropes, thankfully he grabs one to save himself. Kane off the top rope to knock Chavo down, but he's grabbing at his knee as he tags in Punk. Muay thai knees by Punk, step up knee in the corner, running bulldog blocked but the enzuguiri not. Neely breaks up the pinfall but Kane throws him off, gives Chavo an uppercut, feeding him to Punk for the G2S. WINNERS: PUNK & KANE.
Miz and Morrison hold up their belts, Punk holds up his briefcase, Adamle thanks us for watching this special 100th episode (which really wasn't that special) and ECW goes off the air.