[Moshe..]

When mantises have sex the woman gets over-excited and bites off her partner’s head. They are like the charlotte rampling of the insect world. I love my rampling. Over the holidays did you guys read how oswald mosley’s son was in trouble for hosting a masochistic-anti-jew-nazi-holocaust-sex-orgy - all i can say is oh dear (quoting from my marx biography again!) ”history will always repeat itself, the first time as tragedy, the second as farce”. House plants are really good idea because u can use them as ashtrays. My grandmum used to grow lots of linden trees indoors to keep her company. They’re so so atmospheric! They have whole forests of them in eastern europe. It’s easy to get started, you just need to cut a stem off and put it in pot, and maybe give them a hair-cut every year since otherwise they grow up to the ceiling. You basically customise their size with a pair of scissors. THe one serious thing you have to watch out for is that they’re a quite moody tree and get depressed if they’re feeling lonely. Like after my grandmum died, all the linden trees withered away. They died from heart-break of course! and the fact that nobody remembered to water them for six months has nothing to with it. They also have a very fussy taste in music. For example chopin is a safe bet, but it has to be a vintage dinu lipatti recording! And you must open the window sometime to allow them to waltz their leaves in the breeze, remembering dances with other trees in other times in other lands. They do so love being sentimental.

The transylvanian pianist dinu lipatti - who could only practice at night for obvious reasons.




oh and they also love dvorak and brahms