You will die of laughing.....
HISTORICAL JOKE:
What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River?
(Get in the boat!)
CRIME PREVENTION JOKE:
Did you hear about the two guys who stole everything out of a house except the soap and towels. They were dirty crooks!
ZOOLOGICAL JOKE:
Why do lions always eat raw meat?
(Because they don't know how to cook.)
EDUCATIONAL JOKE:
What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?
(It gets wet.)
MOVIE THEATER NAVIGATION JOKE:
"Pardon me, lady", said the man trying to get back to his seat in the darkened movie theater, "but did I step on your toes a few minutes ago?"
"You certainly did!!", said the woman in the aisle seat.
"Good, then I'm in the right row!" the man said as he went back to his seat.
MATHEMATICS EDUCATION JOKE:
Teacher: If you multiplied 50 by 8 and then
divided by 4, what would you get?
Student: The wrong answer.
EMPLOYMENT TERMINATION JOKE:
Did you hear about the mattress tester who was fired? He stayed awake on the job.
EMPLOYEE SATISFACTION JOKE:
All the employees at the rubber band factory agreed that their job was a snap!
TELEPHONE CONVERSATION JOKE:
"Hello"
"Hello"
"Is that you, Larry?"
"Yes, this is Larry."
"Are you sure this is Larry."
"Yes I'm sure, this is Larry !"
"This is Pete... can you lend me twenty dollars ?"
"I'll tell Larry when he comes in."
COW JOKE:
What is an Eskimo cow called ?
(An eskimoo.)
WORD STUDY JOKE:
What is a forum ?
(A two-um plus a two-um)
AUTOMOTIVE JOKE:
What letters did the man recite to his car when he ran out of gas ?
( O-I-C-U-R-M-T )
FRAGRANCE MARKETING JOKE:
What do you call a very popular perfume ?
(A best smeller.)
THEOLOGICAL JOKE:
When two angels meet, what do they say to each other ?
(Halo ! )
ESKIMO PREFERENCES JOKE:
What was the Eskimo's favorite song?
("Freeze (for he's) a Jolly Good Fellow")
AMERICAN HISTORY JOKE:
What was the Pilgrims' favorite dance?
(The Plymouth Rock.)
SCIENTIFIC EXPERIMENT JOKE:
How can you drop an egg four feet without breaking it?
(Drop it from five feet. It won't break during the first four feet.)
HISTORICAL JOKE:
Where did King Arthur take his girl friend on a date?
(To a nightclub [knight club])
COOKING JOKE:
How do you make a lemon drop ?
(Hold it and let it go.)
WRITING INSTRUMENTS JOKE:
What does a pig use to write with?
(A pigpen.)
HISTORICAL JOKE:
What did Napoleon become after his twenty-ninth year?
(Thirty years old.)