[social_misfit]

Jessica Alba: leaning on her gay?
4/4/2007

Cash has gone missing. Her boyfriend, I mean. Cash Warren, it’s been a few days, a few sightings, normally inseparable the two so now that he’s made himself scarce, some are wondering whether or not Jessica Alba is single again. And certain signs seem to confirm it:

Her b!tch-face is tinged with a little sadness, she seems decidedly unglam – the celebrity version of coping in your sweats and pigging out on ice cream– and she’s apparently easing heartbreak with her girls and her gays which as we all know is the most stalwart support system after separation.

His name is Bille Woodruff, he directed her in Honey, and rumour has it from some slamdunk sources, Bille is simply a shoulder to cry on…because Bille supposedly plays for my favourite team: Team Homo. So if heartbreak is indeed what she’s suffering from, Jessica is clearly in good hands.

Besides…what kind of a f*ckin’ name is Cash???

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The Alba Photo Opp
4/9/2007

Several outings without the boyfriend, this time on Sunday at the Ivy. And we all know no one goes to the Ivy without a pappy purpose. So is she really single? Is she trying to tell us she’s really single?

No confirmation just yet. And to complicate matters even more, I’m hearing Cash hasn’t been around not because of love drama but because of work drama. He’s apparently been in Vancouver for a couple of weeks working post-production on Fantastic Four and my sources tell me exclusively that he was supposed to fly back to LA for Easter weekend to be with her and come back to Vancouver TOGETHER midweek.

Jessica Alba: truly single or just hungry for attention?

Will keep you posted.

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Alba has Amnesia?
4/10/2007

Another case of a celebrity conveniently erasing her past.

Jessica Alba, interview with British OK! magazine, discussing super star behaviour and being on the receiving end of super star treatment, way back before she became famous, referencing her 2 episode experience on Beverly Hills 90210 and hypocritically accusing Brenda et al for their enormous egos.

“I don't really know why. Maybe because the leading characters were so popular they didn't want other actors looking at them. You wouldn't be allowed to talk to them unless they spoke to you first. It was bizarre. But I guess that's what happens when you become a big star."

She also goes on to say that her approach on set is the polar opposite – that she is “wellbehaved and never makes any diva-like demands”.

Oh really???

Funny that. Because there are dozens and dozens of crew members based in Vancouver with whom she worked on Dark Angel and Fantastic Four and Good Luck Chuck who will tell you straight up, without hesitation, that working with Jessica Alba is a f&cking nightmare. That she refused to talk to fans, that when she was approached by young fans for autographs she would turn away and instruct her assistant to tell the riffraff to scram, that her assistants were beside themselves with anxiety by the end of it, that on one occasion last summer, after shooting a scene she supposedly turned to a technician on set, who was NOT assigned to wipe her ass, and barked “Now you can take my boots off”, to say nothing of her legendary strolls down Robson Street, shopping and allegedly trailing her dog sh!t inside with her, extremely rude to salespeople, never once any appreciation for the service, never once removing the permascowl from across her pretty little face.

Is this the definition of well-behaved???

Bitch… please.

Now in all fairness, I’m told that shortly after the reports of her atrocities were made public, she apparently made over her attitude. During shooting for Fantastic Four 2, she was surprisingly pleasant, no incidents to speak of.

But does 9 months of decency – which, if you think about it, is nothing extraordinary (should we be REWARDED for being polite these days??? Isn’t it like breathing??? Do you deserve a medal for that???) – erase many more months of being a huge ass C-bomb??? Does it absolve her from past abuse of the little people? Does it suddenly allow her to criticize Dylan McKay???

Am tired of this b!tch trying to be Reese Witherspoon. The conservative clothes, the incessant yapping about not wanting to be seen as a sex symbol when it’s her lovely ass that gets her paid anyway – yet another tv girl tryin’ to become a “serious” movie star when all we’re really waiting for is Into the Blue the sequel. She really is best in a bikini, non?

PS. Her body looked WAY better back then. Eat something Alba Demon!

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