[Captain Beefheart]

Now I understand ladies, you have all the problems. Periods, babies, blah blah blah.

But one thing you DON'T have to worry about...and be really glad that you don't...is the random raging stiffy.

It only happens when it's time to leave your office/cubicle and go down the hall. It can be the product of viewing porn, indeed, but what few women know is that it can happen at any time for seemingly no reason as well!

Many minutes have been wasted at work sitting at my desk waiting for my hard on to go away so that I can stand up and go to the break room for a soda or grab a fax. Fortunately if it gets too bad the bathroom is right next door so I can rub a quick one out, but it's still inconvenient as all hell because I have to spend a few minutes trying to find it first.

PS:

Alllow me to bring up this bastard AW: Shitting with a boner.

Usually the feeling of having to poop causes Petete to turn into a cocktail weenie.

It may turn others on, but certainly not me.

-Beefheart