..Ive just had one of the worst nights of my life, and I was all up for joinging this little pity party, but you know what? f**k that. In anything theres one thing you have control over- yourself. Sometimes you might ot do enough, sometimes you mgith go over the top, sometimes you might just f**k yourself over. Wishing other people thought differently is completely f**kin futile and just a big self hating headahe. You'ev gotta be happy with yourself, and if not do something about it differently next time. The whole "woe is me" attitude (which belive me, is really tempting right now) is just passing the buck- you might hit blackjack, you might go bust, but worrying about what might come up when youre on 4 is just daft.

If it was that easy, there wouldnt be a whole film/TV/music industry built around it- .. I dont really know where to go with this now.. Im going to find some whiskey. my point is, the "im so unlucky" attitide is just a big puddle of self dillusion. S**t might hurt, but that can come with the territory.